Good Deals

Although I swore I would never shop at Century 21 Department Store again after I read an article about the people who own it (they are Syrian Jews who look down on other Jews as unworthy), I found myself drawn in to their show store during lunch today as if it were a magnet and I were steel dust. (Or whatever they use in those little "games" they used to give out in goodie bags with a magnet that lets you put a beard on a 2-D drawing of a bald guy.) I found these amazing rain boots, with pink sock inserts to keep my icy feet warm, for only ten bucks!!!

The tag claims that they were originally $138 (they're Lilly Pulitzer, so I suppose that is possible), which Century 21 marked down to $49.99, then sold out of desperation for a mere ten smackers. For that price, I don't feel like I am giving my hard earned money over to people who will shun me - I feel like I am stealing from them. That makes me as gleeful as the hideous delightfulness of the boots themselves.

It's a good thing that I bought them, because the temperature dropped dramatically and a cold wind kicked up (it nearly blew the bag out of my clutching hands as I walked out of the store, and later propelled me across a street that I didn't want to cross it was so strong) over the course of the day, so they kept my legs nice and toasty on my way home from work. At home, I discovered Good Deal II:

OK, the t-shirt cost $20 (after a 20% discount, even!), which is not a good deal at all, and the assholes size chart was wrong, so it is absurdly tight, but it is possible the most awesome shirt ever. (In case it is not clear, it reads: "My marxist feminist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard," which for those who are somehow less culturally tuned in than I am, is a take off on this horribly catchy Kellis song, "Milkshake," in which her "milkshake," brings all the boys to the yard, "milkshake" meaning her boobs.) Just totally awesome. I can't wait to wear it somewhere.