These days, I find myself in an oddly similar position to what which occurred ten years ago. In the fall of 1997, I applied to two public administration/public policy graduate programs in New York City. I thought I had a really good chance to get into NYU, and I was hopeful that I would be accepted by Columbia as well.
NYU sent their response in February 1998. Not only was I admitted to the program, but they awarded me a 3/4 tuition scholarship! This made me happy, but having recently graduated from NYU's undergraduate liberal arts program also left me with an enormous chip on my shoulder. (Primarily my problem stemmed from a housing issue, but that's a whole separate rant.) Plus, my heart was set on Columbia. I liked how students could register at other schools within the university, and many of the social work courses interested me. Oh, and I really wanted an Ivy League degree to prove that I was just as good as all the rich kids with whom I went to primary and secondary school.*
When I was waitlisted by Columbia in March, I was devastated. Curling up in the fetal position on the cheaply carpeted floor of my 96 square foot kitchen with no stove or oven and crying my eyes out seemed to be a completely rational immediate response. While I eventually got up, I was depressed for days. Would I get in or not?**
Waiting to learn my fate seemed like too much to ask. I decided to visit a Tarot card reader. My former roommate recommended a place in the East Village. I made an appointment, and when the time came, I was led into the adjoining shuttered storefront. I posed my question: would I get into Columbia?, and shuffled the cards. The reader told me my story, the only details of which I remember are that I would get what I wanted, but it would not make me happy.
Not long after the reading, I made an appointment with a dean at Columbia to discuss how I could best position myself on the waitlist in case a spot opened. I presented the dean with three issue briefs I wrote at work, and discussed the policy analysis I performed at my job. She decided to admit me on the spot.
To end this long story, I turned down the huge scholarship at NYU and went to Columbia. I did not find the program as good as I hoped it would be for a variety of reasons, the chief one being that many of my fellow students only went to the program because they were rejected from MBA programs, and they had no interest in public service. The cards were right.
*Yes, I now know that this is the shittiest possible reason to chose a graduate school.
**Really, this means, why wasn't I as good as everyone else? The idiots were right - I was totally second rate. Why it did not occur to me that getting practically a fucking free ride to a fine graduate program was something I should boast about is beyond me. I really was so young and foolish....
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Letter to My Body - Sort Of
On Valentine's Day, I kicked off BlogHer's Letter to My Body initiative. The Town Crier kicked off Phase II to the project with a wonderful perspective on infertility. As I've mentioned before, I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), which would make it difficult for me to get knocked up if I should ever lose my remaining shreds of sanity and decide that I want to have a baby. Clearly, the infertility problem doesn't keep me up at night. The delightful other symptoms of PCOS are another story.
While reading other women's letters over the past two weeks, I nearly bust a gut laughing when One Fat Momma wrote:
Still, when I notice the coarse black hairs on my chinny chin chin, it is upsetting. The extra androgens that cause them - and my slightly-elevated-level of insulin - are not cool. They fuck with my moods pretty badly. I would very much like it if these competing hormones would go away, but I guess this is the one body I got, so I'll deal with it. Plus, there's the added incentive that body snatching aliens probably aren't into bearded chicks, so I got that going for me.
Anyway, 'twas a long day, which explains my late post. I taught my last budgeting class at the local university in the morning, then ran around like an idiot in the afternoon. I also gave in to my curiosity and had my Tarot cards read. It was very interesting, and the cards said lots of nice things. I don't know how much I really believe these things, but it made me feel less anxious. The occult is a fantastic deal for therapy. Long live witches!
While reading other women's letters over the past two weeks, I nearly bust a gut laughing when One Fat Momma wrote:
I know I complain about getting zits and blackheads even though you are pushing 30, but secretly? I like picking at them, so it’s not such a hardship. I’m probably jinxing myself by saying this, but sometimes I like to live dangerously.Because seriously? That's how I feel about my chin hairs. Damn, I hate them, but they sure are fun to pick at. When I have insomnia, de-bearding myself makes for an excellent way to pass time. There's something oddly cathartic about plucking hairs. It's certainly better than my nervous habit of peeling away all the flesh on my cuticles.
Still, when I notice the coarse black hairs on my chinny chin chin, it is upsetting. The extra androgens that cause them - and my slightly-elevated-level of insulin - are not cool. They fuck with my moods pretty badly. I would very much like it if these competing hormones would go away, but I guess this is the one body I got, so I'll deal with it. Plus, there's the added incentive that body snatching aliens probably aren't into bearded chicks, so I got that going for me.
Anyway, 'twas a long day, which explains my late post. I taught my last budgeting class at the local university in the morning, then ran around like an idiot in the afternoon. I also gave in to my curiosity and had my Tarot cards read. It was very interesting, and the cards said lots of nice things. I don't know how much I really believe these things, but it made me feel less anxious. The occult is a fantastic deal for therapy. Long live witches!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Un-Mar-ring a Bad Day
Yesterday? From the moment I woke up at 7:40 am until Alex called to chat at 4 pm, yesterday sucked.* It was a case of too much time on my hands and too much to obsess about.
Mar was supposed to arrive in New York around noon yesterday on her way to London with her mom. Thanks to evil weather in the Midwest (and I'm sure the steady rain here didn't help), her flights were canceled. I had planned an exciting day of Jewish deli food and a tour of the Theodore Roosevelt birthplace, but it was not meant to be.
Happily, Mar's flight did arrive in the evening, and instead of crashing at her hotel after a loooooong day of travel frustrations, Mar and her mom trooped over to my apartment. Further, they good naturedly followed me around in the rain as I showed them the sights of my 'hood: Natural History Museum; New York-Historical Society; and John Lennon memorial in Central Park. Then Mar gently reminded me that she had not eaten in 9 hours, so we headed over to a kosher deli for some grub before the delightful women headed back to their hotel near JFK, which takes about an hour by subway.
While I am disappointed that I didn't get to spend more time with Mar, I am so glad that we finally met! She is as awesome and adorable in person as she is online. Her mom rocked the house, too. I just love meeting my blog friends and their cool moms and/or dads. I hope that the ladies have a fantastic time in London, and I can't wait to see Mar again. She lives in the same town as my sister, so I figure we can meet up in exciting Iowa sometime this year. (My sister is determined to have me come to talk to her class of first graders about being an author, so I figure I'll go out there in the fall when my book is out.)
Anyway, after seeing my visitors off at the subway station, I returned home to find a thoughtful email from Eddie, plus lots of nice comments on my blog, including a tag from Warrior Two. Yay for blog friends!!!!
*Although the two episodes of The Golden Girls that I caught on TV were hilarious.
Mar was supposed to arrive in New York around noon yesterday on her way to London with her mom. Thanks to evil weather in the Midwest (and I'm sure the steady rain here didn't help), her flights were canceled. I had planned an exciting day of Jewish deli food and a tour of the Theodore Roosevelt birthplace, but it was not meant to be.
Happily, Mar's flight did arrive in the evening, and instead of crashing at her hotel after a loooooong day of travel frustrations, Mar and her mom trooped over to my apartment. Further, they good naturedly followed me around in the rain as I showed them the sights of my 'hood: Natural History Museum; New York-Historical Society; and John Lennon memorial in Central Park. Then Mar gently reminded me that she had not eaten in 9 hours, so we headed over to a kosher deli for some grub before the delightful women headed back to their hotel near JFK, which takes about an hour by subway.
While I am disappointed that I didn't get to spend more time with Mar, I am so glad that we finally met! She is as awesome and adorable in person as she is online. Her mom rocked the house, too. I just love meeting my blog friends and their cool moms and/or dads. I hope that the ladies have a fantastic time in London, and I can't wait to see Mar again. She lives in the same town as my sister, so I figure we can meet up in exciting Iowa sometime this year. (My sister is determined to have me come to talk to her class of first graders about being an author, so I figure I'll go out there in the fall when my book is out.)
Anyway, after seeing my visitors off at the subway station, I returned home to find a thoughtful email from Eddie, plus lots of nice comments on my blog, including a tag from Warrior Two. Yay for blog friends!!!!
*Although the two episodes of The Golden Girls that I caught on TV were hilarious.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Shhh! It's So Quiet!
Man, it is hard to not be working today. Nothing is going on.
The mail came and went. Husband received a magazine from his alma mater and one of those evil checks that credit cards insist on sending even though we don't want them, and it is easy to have them stolen out of the mail and cashed by frauds. (Does anyone go a day without receiving a credit card offer of some sort? The only days we don't receive something from those companies that would like me to live above my means are ones in which there is no mail delivery.)
The phone is silent. No one calling to get me to give to Al Franken's senate campaign, no credit card offers, and no job or school news. (Incidentally, a friend of mine was admitted to the nonfiction program at the New School yesterday. She's pretty damn talented and super nice, so I am really happy for her.) I even tried calling friends, but everyone is busy working or taking care of sick partners. (What is with this vile strain of flu that is striking good people around the nation?)
Even the email is slow today. Doesn't anyone want to send me a cute picture of his/her kids or pets? Share some gossip? Anything?
Do I have to dress like Bjork just to get some reactions! I thought her stork dress was cool...
The mail came and went. Husband received a magazine from his alma mater and one of those evil checks that credit cards insist on sending even though we don't want them, and it is easy to have them stolen out of the mail and cashed by frauds. (Does anyone go a day without receiving a credit card offer of some sort? The only days we don't receive something from those companies that would like me to live above my means are ones in which there is no mail delivery.)
The phone is silent. No one calling to get me to give to Al Franken's senate campaign, no credit card offers, and no job or school news. (Incidentally, a friend of mine was admitted to the nonfiction program at the New School yesterday. She's pretty damn talented and super nice, so I am really happy for her.) I even tried calling friends, but everyone is busy working or taking care of sick partners. (What is with this vile strain of flu that is striking good people around the nation?)
Even the email is slow today. Doesn't anyone want to send me a cute picture of his/her kids or pets? Share some gossip? Anything?
Do I have to dress like Bjork just to get some reactions! I thought her stork dress was cool...
On Hold
Why is so much of life waiting? Whether I'm waiting to find out if I got a job interview, a job, or into school, it seems like everything these days* is hurry up and wait. The funny thing is that I was feeling pretty good yesterday until I got my silent bad news. Last week, I found $40 on the sidewalk. How could things go wrong? It looked like it was all coming together, and then, kaboom. I'm back to waiting to see what I'll be doing with my life in the next few months.
Monday, February 25, 2008
In Which I Am Sad
It's a lie that no news is good news. Sure, I didn't get any bad news today, but other people got good news and I didn't. I think that is silent bad news. Silent bad news is worse than bad news because at least there's certainty with bad news. Silent bad news leaves doubts - and worse, hope - until you finally get bad news.
Bad news is a big, bloody wound that can heal. Silent bad news is a festering sore that hangs around spewing pus. Silent bad news makes me focus on all the things that aren't working out for me right now, as opposed to the greater number of things that are fantastic.* It's poison, like baby formula.**
*Hey! I've got a book coming out in July! How awesome is that?!?!
**Just kidding about the formula, but that does crack me up.
Bad news is a big, bloody wound that can heal. Silent bad news is a festering sore that hangs around spewing pus. Silent bad news makes me focus on all the things that aren't working out for me right now, as opposed to the greater number of things that are fantastic.* It's poison, like baby formula.**
*Hey! I've got a book coming out in July! How awesome is that?!?!
**Just kidding about the formula, but that does crack me up.
Yogurt Review #2 (Lifeway Strawberry Lassi)
Lassis are yogurt drinks popular (for very good reason) in India. While I was there, I drank at least four every day. (I wish I was exaggerating. Fortunately, our hotels had all you can eat breakfast buffets with pitchers of lassis, so I refilled my glass multiple times. Then I usually ordered a lassi with dinner, too.) Generally, they come in three traditional flavors: salty (aka "gross"), sweet, and mango. Lassis also tend to be sort of high in fat and calories in addition to flavor (and cost more in the US than India), so I try not to consume them to often.
At Whole Foods, I was excited to find a small packaged lassi in the dairy case from Lifeway.
The only flavor in stock was strawberry, and the 8 oz. carton had only 174 calories and 2 grams of fat, so I was psyched. Even better, the drink contains 30% of the RDA for calcium. The drink even has 3 grams of fiber to slightly off set the high level of carbs found in flavored yogurt. Excellent. I forgot how much it cost, but I think it was $1.29, which is somewhat reasonable. (I need to pay more attention to these things if I am going to seriously review yogurt, I know.)
Ah, sounds good so far, but how does it taste? I was very pleased. The strawberry was just sweet enough, but not overpowering. I like lassis because they have a sourish yogurty taste that is not overwhelming, but just a perfect balance with the sweet. Lifeway surprisingly got that down. Yumminess. I hope that I can find the mango flavor, too.
I wish they were also organic, but I suppose they'd cost more than $1.29 if they were. The verdict: I'll be stocking up on these babies!
At Whole Foods, I was excited to find a small packaged lassi in the dairy case from Lifeway.
The only flavor in stock was strawberry, and the 8 oz. carton had only 174 calories and 2 grams of fat, so I was psyched. Even better, the drink contains 30% of the RDA for calcium. The drink even has 3 grams of fiber to slightly off set the high level of carbs found in flavored yogurt. Excellent. I forgot how much it cost, but I think it was $1.29, which is somewhat reasonable. (I need to pay more attention to these things if I am going to seriously review yogurt, I know.)
Ah, sounds good so far, but how does it taste? I was very pleased. The strawberry was just sweet enough, but not overpowering. I like lassis because they have a sourish yogurty taste that is not overwhelming, but just a perfect balance with the sweet. Lifeway surprisingly got that down. Yumminess. I hope that I can find the mango flavor, too.
I wish they were also organic, but I suppose they'd cost more than $1.29 if they were. The verdict: I'll be stocking up on these babies!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)