Surreal Night

For the first time in about two years, I made it to Rev. Jen's Anti-Slam.* (Last time I attended an anti-slam, it was the second show hosted at Cake Shop.) It was the special XXX-mas Show, and boy was it ever special! Many of my favorite contestants from the Mr. Lower East Side Pageant were skulking around, and in the audience was the Mangina!

The show started out strong. Victor Varnado, the self-described foremost black albino comedian in the world, told a joke about a crack whore offering to suck his dick for money. "No, thank you," he told her. "No, I will SUCK YOUR DICK OFF!" she bellowed in reply. He said he was unsure if this was a good thing or not. Then he generously ceded the stage to some guy with a guitar who sang funny songs about how fun it is to put things in other things, like his dick in your butt. The guitar guy was OK, but Husband and I wanted more Varnado. We haven't seen him in years and years.

Soon after, Liam McEneany took the stage and made us laugh our asses off with stories about growing up as the fat kid. He claims that he has trouble getting laid, but he is totally adorable and hilarious, so I think this is a lie. (I'd do him if I wasn't happily married and wanted to stay that way, so I assume other unattached ladies would also be interested.)

From there, there was a lot of interpretive song and dance, ranting into the microphone and rambling around the stage, poetry (some of which was good), Christmas song sing-alongs, and general mayhem. As the evening wore on, a group of men at the men at the back of the room burst into various Christmas songs (sometimes accompanied by a trumpet) between nearly every performer. Husband, cousin Rebecca, and I took off around 12:40 AM, after a woman demonstrated how to make paper flowers from tissue paper that is used in gift boxes and gift bags. (Don't forget to top the flowers off with fake blood!)

Ah, good times. Tonight: Husband, Rebecca, and I will commence a six hour marathon of The Wire on DVD so that we finish season one. Good times, indeed.

*I know the link to the story of the anti-slam says it began three years ago, but that was written 10 years ago at this point, which sort of blows my mind. It also says that it is hosted every Monday at Mo Pitkins, but it's been the last Wednesday of the month at Bowery Poetry Club for almost a year now.