My email in-box had a very nice email in it this morning from a woman who read on one of the various MFA forums that I obsess over that I was wait listed at the New School for non-fiction. She is also a non-fiction wait listee. I instantly felt less alone as I read Catherine's email (for no good reason, I was convinced that I was the only non-fiction applicant who was not immediately accepted), and checked out her blog, A Fly on the Wall. Cool stuff, plus her last entry was about poached eggs and hot cocoa. Hello! I love me some poached eggs and hot cocoa.
After my email checkings and various bloggings, I headed downtown to buy a discount suitcase at the infamous Century 21 department store, a place that I swore I would never shop at again because it is owned by crazy Syrian Jews who look down upon Askenazi Jewish riff raff like me who cannot prove our Jewish lineage because everyone was fucking killed in the Holocaust. (I read this last year in a New York Times Magazine cover story that I cannot find a link to at the moment.) I probably shouldn't have to show birth records signed by rabbis going back three generations to prove that I am Jewish because I went to Century 21 anyway because they have the best prices on luggage. If that is not a Jewish trait, sue my Katubah maker.
Anyway, while I was downtown, I decided to eat at Little Lad's Basket, a vegan cafeteria in the basement of a fancy office building near Wall St. that is run by Seventh Day Adventists from Maine. I love that place because it is cheap, and full of interesting characters. Generally, the tables are bustling with hippies, Muslims, Jews who keep kosher, Hindis, and random office workers. Today, it was empty due to Passover and the fact that I arrived just before it closed. Nothing was left on the buffet, though. I grabbed on of their oddly addictive bags of "herbal" popcorn, and went elsewhere for nourishment.
When I got home several hours later, I had an email from a nice woman named Kat who found CUSS while googling images of egg poachers. She also asked if I could provide the exact address for Little Lad's Basket, which she learned about from the blog.
Woooooooo.....
Friday, April 25, 2008
Deep, Dark Secret #439: I Don't Read Books
OK, so my title is slightly misleading. I do read books, but not nearly as many as I should. In recent years, I became super lazy and spent most of my reading time on magazines, newspapers, and blogs. While I believe that many of these sources have superior writing (well, not newspapers - it's fucking pathetic how awful news reporting is these days), they also are not providing me with models for what makes a good book with a plot, which I hope to write some day.
Fortunately, my friend invited me to join her book club a few years ago, so I've read one quality book about every month or so. As it became clear to me that learning to write is not just done in writing workshops, I decided that I should make an effort to read more books to see what works and what doesn't. In the past few weeks, I found that the best-selling memoir A Girl Called Zippy by Haven Kimmel is nothing more than a few short essays sort of strung together; that some of the most best character development can take place in "trashy" popular fiction, as I adored Bangkok 8 by John Burdett (its sequel, Bangkok Tattoo, is not quite as good); and that I still believe that The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson is a masterpiece of creative non-fiction.
One of the things I most dreaded about MFA programs was the mandatory literary criticism coursework. This is both because I am an intellectual slacker at times, and also because I am afraid that such coursework will demonstrate that I am, in fact, a clueless idiot. Now that I better understand the value of dissecting books to learn from them as opposed to just enjoying them while I read (or worse, skim), I hope that I get into a program so that I can challenge myself with this work.
If I am not accepted off the wait list at New School, my plan is to apply to low residency programs (basically, you live at home, and twice a year for two weeks, you attend intensive on-campus seminars, workshops, and lectures, then are assigned a mentor with whom you develop a contract; you go home, do your reading and writing, and correspond with your mentor) that emphasize reading as well as writing. Probably I should have applied to low residency programs when I also applied to New School and Hunter last fall, but I stupidly did not do so.
Anyhow, if anyone has any suggestions for well-crafted books, I'm all ears.
Fortunately, my friend invited me to join her book club a few years ago, so I've read one quality book about every month or so. As it became clear to me that learning to write is not just done in writing workshops, I decided that I should make an effort to read more books to see what works and what doesn't. In the past few weeks, I found that the best-selling memoir A Girl Called Zippy by Haven Kimmel is nothing more than a few short essays sort of strung together; that some of the most best character development can take place in "trashy" popular fiction, as I adored Bangkok 8 by John Burdett (its sequel, Bangkok Tattoo, is not quite as good); and that I still believe that The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson is a masterpiece of creative non-fiction.
One of the things I most dreaded about MFA programs was the mandatory literary criticism coursework. This is both because I am an intellectual slacker at times, and also because I am afraid that such coursework will demonstrate that I am, in fact, a clueless idiot. Now that I better understand the value of dissecting books to learn from them as opposed to just enjoying them while I read (or worse, skim), I hope that I get into a program so that I can challenge myself with this work.
If I am not accepted off the wait list at New School, my plan is to apply to low residency programs (basically, you live at home, and twice a year for two weeks, you attend intensive on-campus seminars, workshops, and lectures, then are assigned a mentor with whom you develop a contract; you go home, do your reading and writing, and correspond with your mentor) that emphasize reading as well as writing. Probably I should have applied to low residency programs when I also applied to New School and Hunter last fall, but I stupidly did not do so.
Anyhow, if anyone has any suggestions for well-crafted books, I'm all ears.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Setting the Medical Community Straight
"Suzanne, listen," Bubbe intoned when I called her this evening to see how she felt after her routine cataract surgery yesterday, "the doctor told me that I got diabetes from depression when Michael died."
Michael was my grandpa. "No, Bubbe. Depression doesn't cause diabetes," I explained.
"Yes! That's what the doctor told me. That's how your dad and I got diabetes."
"Um, I think you may have misunderstood what he was saying," I suggested.
"No, he told me this."
"Depression does not cause diabetes," I insisted.
"No? Well maybe the doctor doesn't know this," she said. I pictured the look of smug satisfaction on her wrinkled face, and gave in.
"Whatever you say."
Michael was my grandpa. "No, Bubbe. Depression doesn't cause diabetes," I explained.
"Yes! That's what the doctor told me. That's how your dad and I got diabetes."
"Um, I think you may have misunderstood what he was saying," I suggested.
"No, he told me this."
"Depression does not cause diabetes," I insisted.
"No? Well maybe the doctor doesn't know this," she said. I pictured the look of smug satisfaction on her wrinkled face, and gave in.
"Whatever you say."
Grow a Happy Bunny
My mother-in-law gave me a Grow a Happy Bunny toy when I was at her house for Passover on Saturday. (How I love that little innocent-looking asshole rabbit!) Thanks to my gutter-mind, the instructions make me fall down laughing:
"It will begin to grow within 2 hours and will be full size in 72 hours. When removed... it will slowly shrink back to its original size. Your grow item can be grown again and again! For Entertainment Purposes Only. Not for consumption."
Sounds just like the instructions for Viagra during its testing period!
"It will begin to grow within 2 hours and will be full size in 72 hours. When removed... it will slowly shrink back to its original size. Your grow item can be grown again and again! For Entertainment Purposes Only. Not for consumption."
Sounds just like the instructions for Viagra during its testing period!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Belated Earth Day Plea for Bush Conservation
Yesterday Count Mockula sent me a link to a pair of "Stop Deforestation" knickers. Those Brits are so cheeky! (Ha ha.) Unfortunately, at $2 to the £1, these undies would deforest my wallet. (Even without the awful exchange rate, I am way too cheap to buy $25 underwear, even if they are adorable and "crack" me up. Oh, me with the puns - my fake mustache is quaking with laughter...)
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
I Shot the Sheriff
But I did not shoot the deputy.
This is the kind of wackiness that may or may not take place at a cooking party thrown by Hot Pot, my brother-in-law's new business. Husband says that I look just like a sheriff from the Wild West. I am so going to invest in some Wild West Sheriff Gear and kick off my new career as a drag king. I believe that I have truly found my calling.
This is the kind of wackiness that may or may not take place at a cooking party thrown by Hot Pot, my brother-in-law's new business. Husband says that I look just like a sheriff from the Wild West. I am so going to invest in some Wild West Sheriff Gear and kick off my new career as a drag king. I believe that I have truly found my calling.
Monday, April 21, 2008
People Make My Eyes Bleed, But Goats Rock
Seriously, I love me some crazies. Who would I mock if there were no nutters around?
On a more cheerful note, I bought some goat milk yogurt at the grocery store this afternoon. It comes in all kinds of interesting flavors, and I chose apricot mango over cranberry orange for my first. The anticipation is killing me. As a Capricorn, it could be like a homecoming of sorts. Or something. In the meantime, I've reviewed three different flavors of sheep's milk yogurt, and Count Mockula wrote about some awesome yogurts, too, at Live Active Cultures.
On a more cheerful note, I bought some goat milk yogurt at the grocery store this afternoon. It comes in all kinds of interesting flavors, and I chose apricot mango over cranberry orange for my first. The anticipation is killing me. As a Capricorn, it could be like a homecoming of sorts. Or something. In the meantime, I've reviewed three different flavors of sheep's milk yogurt, and Count Mockula wrote about some awesome yogurts, too, at Live Active Cultures.
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