Good thing there's ass floss, or how would one get out the dingleberries?

I went to the Mr. Lower East Side Pageant last night. Understandably, the place was packed. (I mean, who would want to miss such an exciting event?!?!) I took a break from hootin’ and hollerin’ and sat down for a few minutes during intermission, when someone wanted to get by. This someone was wearing low rise leather pants and a cut off T-shirt. The outfit left plenty of midriff showing, which the woman took as an important opportunity to share her thong with the world by hiking it as high on her hip bones as she could. As she passed by me with her ass in my face, I did not think, “Oooh – that’s so hot!” No, I started hoping that she wiped well after she went to the bathroom, as I could only imagine what the string wedged in her ass would dredge up when she changed her underwear.

This made me wonder who invented the thong and the g-string, and why. Was there some person who had something caught in his/her ass who wanted an efficient way to dig it out, and using dental floss as a model, invented ass floss? If that’s the case, was the product so good that he/she wanted to wear it all the time to prevent ass plaque, so a small piece of cloth was attached? I’d have to say that is a clever solution for people with dingleberry worries. But I don’t understand how it then got mass marketed to women (and adolescent girls) as comfortable underwear.