If the shoe doesn't fit, lop your toe off

The question of why women insist on wearing uncomfortable things continues to vex me. If you need to modify your body in order to wear something, the obvious conclusion to me is to not wear it. For example, some time ago there was an article in the NY Times about women who have parts of their feet cut off so that they can wear pointy-toed shoes more comfortably. (Yes, there are podiatrists who actually find with this request reasonable - very frightening. I think if I ever need to see a podiatrist for any reason, I will have a litmus test. I will call the office and say that I'd like to schedule an appointment to have part of my foot chopped off so that I can wear my Jimmy Choos every day. If the receptionist asks me when I want to come in, I will hang up. If the receptionist asks me what crack I am smoking, then I know I can trust my tootsies to this podiatrist.)

OK, I admit that in the past, I used to stuff my feet into ill-fitting shoes if I loved the shoes but they weren't my size. However, that was when I was in high school. Kids do crazy shit like that. When you grow up, you realize it's not really worth the discomfort or having parts of your chopped off. I hate getting old, but it is what it is. See you at the nursing home in my comfy old lady shoes!