Until yesterday, I never personally laid eyes on boobs that I absolutely, 100%, no doubt at all knew were fake. My innocence was shattered, though, in the locker room of a downtown branch of my gym. As I approached my locker, I noticed a topless woman stretching against the her locker. Without warning, she whipped around and I was confronted with two perfectly molded, symmetrical, round lumps soddered on to a lithe body. Anyone who ever saw a topless Barbie knows exactly what I mean, except that this woman had enormous erect knobs attached to the center of her flesh-covered half-spheres rather than smooth plastic.
I'm sort of proud of myself because I managed not to gasp. I was just so taken aback by the sight of her tits. And I feel bad being judgmental about it, but I really wanted to ask her why she did that to herself. It's her body and she needs to be happy with it, so it's not my business, yet I honestly could not help thinking that she looked totally fucking ridiculous. No matter how small her previous chest size might have been (and I include the possibility that she may have had a mastectomy), I suspect that she was gorgeous before her surgery. Now she just appeared so artificial and fake that it made me weirdly sad.
Now that I've met Barbie (this woman was also blond, with a pleasant face and trim figure), I have a slightly increased appreciation of my flab, and even my chin hairs (not that it stopped me from plucking away last night; maybe if I could grow a Van Dyke or something interesting versus sporadic bristles, I'd leave it alone). Perfection is way overrated.
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I saw a model that had 32DD boobs, and they were real. She complains about backaches but thinks her career depends on her giant chest. It made me unhappy.
ReplyDeleteAlso, when people get giant fake boobs, are they as heavy as real ones? I honestly have no idea.
good questions super des! because the inserts have to be filled with something...
ReplyDeletelocker rooms are great places for interesting sightings. I am indeed amazed at how different snatches are coiffed.
you would make an excellent, well-adjusted bearded woman, suzanne.
ReplyDeletei think mine are a little on the small side, but everyone's always saying i have huge chest (hello? padded/lined bra, anyone?) but i think i'm satisfied with them. and the rest of my body for once. s definitely helped give me that outlook.
Hi Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteMockula's Mom here. I know you've been really busy so I had hesitated to contact you but yes, we are leaving on the red-eye tonight for NYC. I scored some last-minute tickets for tomorrow (5/14th) to the Letterman Show. Mockula gave me your number so I'll give you a call!
Hi Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteMockula's Mom here. I know you've been really busy so I had hesitated to contact you but yes, we are leaving on the red-eye tonight for NYC. I scored some last-minute tickets for tomorrow (5/14th) to the Letterman Show. Mockula gave me your number so I'll give you a call!
I once saw a woman like this at work. I unfortunately was with a bunch of men, half of which were gay. As we were walking by I think I said, "Totally fake" and they all looked - blatently. The gay men agreed with me and the straight men drooled.
ReplyDeleteThe woman just gleamed - apparently she likes her fat sacks being stared at.
My husband calls them "bolt-ons" and I would have gasped. And then asked, "How much were they?" But I'm a rude ass, one that is perfectly happy with my boobs. Even though I do pluck my sole jaw line hair.
ReplyDeleteI am fortunate to not have encountered this at the Y. Now that I think about it, I'm definitely surprised that I haven't.
ReplyDeleteIf one is going to get breast implants for whatever reason, one needs to shop around. A bad breast job is not something you can just take back. A proper breast job should look natural and be difficult to notice from natural breasts.
ReplyDelete