So I was perusing the groups section on Facebook, and saw a group that one of my Facebook/former high school friends recently joined. Based on the joinee, I was certain that the group was very, very serious about its cause, although the logo made me snort evil fits of laughter because it looks and sort of sounds like a bad joke:
It just seems like a Saturday Night Live skit towards the end of the program. Laughing at earnest tone of the Foundation's website only adds to my ranking as a truly horrible person. I kept thinking, "This can't be for real." But it is. The Facebook description is even more dramatically hilarious:
Although this law and Safe Haven has been approved, millions of young women are unaware. So instead of safely delivering their newborn, they frantically leave their baby to die.
Millions of young women? Really? Man, garbage men in Illinois must be finding perfectly good dead babies every single day. Do they dread opening every trash bin, knowing that a dead baby awaits discovery? They must need serious counseling by now. (Maybe this is why Alex's husband got such a severe warning one day when he came out late with a bag of trash; the garbage men probably thought he was disposing of a last minute baby.) Do not miss the heart-wrenching testimonial and photo of "Matthew," an adorable potential garbage baby whose fate as a dead baby was averted when his wise mother abandoned him at a fire station instead of throwing him out like those millions of other stupid young women do with their high quality newborns.
Shit, this was definitely in some movie. I am so hearing a jive-talking black garbage man mutter about "perfectly good white babies" in my head. Anyone know what this is? I know that throwing out babies (or even pets, as Steph and I used to joke that Husband would do with my pet rabbit rabbit while I was out of town) in dumpsters is totally not funny. It's just that I cannot stop cracking up right now. What with the Bushies now defining birth control pills and IUDs as abortions, if I don't laugh I will curl up in the fetal position (and risk mistakenly being trashed by a frantic teen!) and cry.
ack!
ReplyDeleteyou have yet to offend me, suzanne.
although i oddly watched the local news last night & one of the iowa hospitals had their first safe haven baby dropped off earlier this week. serendipitous.
I'll have to try harder. :)
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear that the Safe Haven laws work. I wonder if they make adoption easier, too, as parental rights get terminated faster? I could probably find out by reading the site again, but I won't make it past the part about millions of young women frantically leaving babies to die in dumpsters.
Also, I think the movie I was thinking of is Better Off Dead, when John Cusack falls off a bridge into a garbage truck as it passed underneath.
man shakes head "it's a shame when folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy"
ReplyDeletefrom 'better off dead'
:P
heh. i love that movie.
ReplyDeleteOMG, I am snorting I am laughing so hard. And I was totally channeling Better off Dead, which I actually own I love it so much.
ReplyDeleteYou're evil. I love you. Srsly.
No, shitting out vagina was still more tasteless. Not that I ever took you for Emily Post.
ReplyDeleteI forgot about shitting out of the vagina, but that's just gross. This is mocking dead babies!
ReplyDeleteDead babies. What could be funnier than that.
ReplyDelete