In New York City, landlords either blast the heat so that the old people in the building don't complain and the other tenants sweat their balls off, or they are slumlords who provide no heat at all and tenants are forced to use ovens and space heaters to keep warm. I am fortunate enough to live in a building that provides heat, albeit way too much heat. Generally, I keep the radiators turned off and even an icicle like me is toasty.
This morning I had to open the valve on the radiators. Even Tycho seems to be cold. (Serves him right for shedding like a maniac in November, although I can't entirely blame him for not knowing it is the cold season since the apartment is usually hot.) As I write this, it's four degrees warmer in the Chicago area than in New York (34 degrees - above freezing! - versus 30.) Freezing temperatures were also reported in Georgia. (Stay warm, Eddie! And by the way, your son's Beetle is my dream car.)
Speaking of heat, it seems that the stupid Democrats in Congress are re-warming up to that assfuck Lieberman. They should be freezing that douche nozzle back to Connecticut. I guess they think they need him because in Minnesota, usually one of the coldest places in the nation, a hand recount of the 2.9 million ballots cast is underway. Convicted criminal Ted Stevens lost his bid for re-election in Alaska (as I said to a friend yesterday, I love when Americans do the right thing by small margins), so that's a plus even though I'm not sure I want the Dems to have a super majority.
Also in hot news, the winner of the Mr. Lower East Side Pageant was (drum roll, please) Tokyo Circus! Not who I wanted, but he's certainly deserving of the title. The man did splits on a stage covered with beer and who know what other fluids wearing only a g-string pouch-y thing. Major kudos. I am glad that the audience has higher standards than I do, as I tend to vote for the cutest guy who is willing to show his balls. I'm a sucker for attractive male nudity. (Yes, I'm talking about the tour guide guy again, lecherous hag that I am.)
And that's my report on the temperature.
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Assfuck Lieberman, I think that's what I am going to call him from here on out. Or maybe Joe the Assfuck. It has a nice ring. I agree with you, I wanted to boot him out on his ass.
ReplyDeleteAnd, see ya, Ted. I think it is insane his election was even close. First, he's old enough to be John Quincy Adams. Second, he's a fucking criminal. And that brings me how I think maybe we just shouldn't let Alaskans have politicians anymore. Clearly the people they pick are just skid marks on our national underwear.
I love your liberal use of the word "balls". Especially in conjunction with beer, sweat, bodily fluids. When you wrote that about Tokyo Circus I imagined that it was HIM covered in beer and bodily fluids, not the stage, which made for quite the mental picture.
ReplyDeleteAnd then I started cackling at Shonda's comment. Don't you ladies know I'm trying to eat?
The Mr. LES Pageant is all about balls! And so is politics, but in a different (worse) way. And it is so cold here that my balls would shrink up if I had actual ones. So balls!
ReplyDeleteDouche nozzle. I'm so adding that into my profanity rotation.
ReplyDelete