If I stepped into a shower at any of the various hotels or motels that I stayed in over the last two weeks and encountered the conditions that I just experienced a few minutes ago in my very own home, I would have run out screaming and demanded a full refund. (Probably between the screaming and refund demand, I would put some clothes on, just to be clear.) Until I blasted the fuck out of it with Tilex, my shower was hosting MoldFest 2007.
MoldFest has actually been going on for quite a while now. Husband is one of those people who just refused to see things he does not want to clean, so sometimes I'd conduct experiments to see how bad things could get before he'd notice that he was cleaning himself in a tub of mold. I always wind up giving up before that happens. When the mold asks you if it can scrub your back for you, it is time to clean.
In the last few months, I discovered a profoundly disturbing new shower denizen, a yellow viscous goop that appeared as splash marks or smears on the while tile wall.
"What the fuck is this?" I kept thinking to myself as I cleaned it off.
Today it looked like a giant with a raucous sinus infection sneezed on the top shelf of our shower caddy. I sniffing at it, and it smelled vaguely antiseptic. It was time for a serious shower cleaning without a doubt. When I told Husband what I was doing, he was puzzled.
"The shower is disgusting?" he asked.
It's a good thing that he is such a fine Husband in every other way.
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In defense of Husband, I often hide immediately prior to his entry into the shower. The vigilance Husband employs in his routine search & destroy missions terrifies fungi like myself. Every hyphae knows about the incident in which Husband merely used stern words to scare mitochondria out of a mycelium. There is good reason to stay out of sight of Husband The Mold Assassin.
ReplyDeletethis post is so funny. I think it's just about priorities. My husband doesn't notice disgusting toilet or shower either. But he's good at other things I am not, such as laundry, so I forgive him.
ReplyDeleteI do something similar. For months, I'll say, "our shower is gross" without ever doing anything about it. Then one day one of us will freak out (read: I will freak out) and Craig will go clean it.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, a husband who does not nag about housework is a Pearl of Great Price.
ReplyDeleteWhat, no mention of the cup?
ReplyDeletei use to run a similar experiment with my roomate in college... i never understood how the girl could actually take BATHS in the moldy tub that i was afraid to stand in... needless to say i was the only one that ever cleaned the thing or took out the garbage.
ReplyDeletealex, what cup?
The shower won't reach the back corner with our shower caddy, so I filled the Coke mug with water and used it to splash enormous amounts of water in it to rinse off all the Tilex.
ReplyDelete