Here's a new CUSS feature: What Would CUSS Readers Do? (WWCRD) Sort of like my favorite evangelical reminder to consider what Jesus would do in a given ethical dilemma, WWCRD will present a moral situation in the hopes that trusted CUSS readers will weigh in with their excellent guidance.
Today's WWCRD? thorny question is:
Let's say that a beloved friend/family member is driven out of her cushy summer housing by an utterly inconsiderate roommate who keep her up all night by talking loudly, watching movies, slamming drawers, and keeping florescent lights on, among other problems. The roommate's not evil per se, but your loved one is still tormented by her annoying actions. Beloved One and others are extremely inconvienced by moving out, but its the only option left other than killing Inconsiderate Roommate.
If you were helping Beloved One move, would you give into the tempation to blow your nose into a Kleenex and stuff it behind the OCD Inconsiderate Roommate's pillow? While "cleaning," could you resist spraying Tilex into OCDIR's vase of fresh roses? Would you have other evil schemes, like getting a homeless man to come into a cup and then dumping the contents into OCDIR's Coach handbag, or is that going too far?
I confess to none of these dastardly doings, but am curious to hear from you, dear trusted readers.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I would definitely do the first 2, but I think the 3rd is out of my territory.
ReplyDeleteOf course, you should do all these things before moving out, so that maybe evil roommate will move first.
stay away... especially from homeless cum. if you do these things, beloved one will be blamed for it by housing people and it will cause all sorts of trouble for her.
ReplyDeleteI usually just cut and run. Their karma will catch them. But on the other hand, I do know *someone* who, when her lazy ass BF wouldn't do ANY housework, scrubbed the sink with his toothbrush.
ReplyDeleteSuebob, that person sounds extremely clever.
ReplyDeleteI had a similarly shitty summer roommate situation once. Here are the vast array of solutions I pondered, but never employed:
ReplyDelete1) Pour bleach into their laundry bag
2) Setup a computer auto-dialer program to dial the house phone every 15 minutes during the roommate's preferred hours of sleep (while taking residence elsewhere for the evening; or several evenings)
3) Cage match
Having had an unsavory taste in my mouth over an ex-boyfriend/roommate's little indiscretions, I somehow accidently put sardines in each light fixture while he was out of town for work, on the day i moved out. The light switches were unfortunately all left in the on position and the air conditioner and ceiling fans were somehow left off. The sad part came to be when the house was inadvertantly left in this manner until ex-boyfriend/roommate came home 2 weeks later and it appears that the sardines were "cooked" by the heat of the light bulbs.
ReplyDeleteI have heard tale that ex-boyfriend/roommate had to have his house completely cleaned by a maid service, carpets shampooed quite a few times, new paint, new light fixtures, and one section of drywall replaced where the light fixture happened to be wall sconces.
wow that is evil! love it!
ReplyDeleteYou're asking me? Me? I wouldn't do any of those things, I would just say, " Look, you need to stop. You're rude and no one really likes you. If you don't knock it off I'm going to knock it off for you." But then, that's just me and we all know by now that I'm just not very nice. (I am however available for special occassions and childrens parties.)
ReplyDeleteI like viciousrumours' suggestion, actually. The only really rotten thing I ever did (and believe you me, this roommate deserved it. Just a wee taste of the horror: He came into my rom drunk at about 2am and asked "Can I suck on your titty?") was dip his bath towel into the toilet and re-hang it. I also threw him out, if you're wondering.
ReplyDelete