Spare the Douche and Spoil the Cooch

People are always dissing normal snatch. From waxing and lasering to the truly evil labio-plasty surgery, there’s tons of social pressure to make the poon “prettier.” Of course, the only logical conclusion when you spend time making adult snatch not look like adult snatch is that you would not want it to smell like adult cooch either. God forbid that anyone should have to smell eau de poon! Instead, there are various powders and potions to make sure that snatches smell like the blossoming flowers they thinly veiled as in erotic odes to vaginas.

When I was in high school, I became friends with someone whose mom was a nurse. She had a special interest in promoting women’s health, and reserved a particular hatred for douche. “Douching strips the vagina of its natural lubricants,” she would lecture us. “It’s like washing a cat – there’s no need for it. It can take care of itself.” Even as a 14 year old, I knew I was listening to sage advice. I wish more young women had access to mentors like my friend’s mom.

Oddly, there’s no partner movement to make dicks look different or smell nicer; sure, a few guys have joined the ranks of the brainwashed and subject themselves to waxers. For the most part, though, hetero men just worry about whether they are big enough. (Maybe a few also fret over cheese dick, which is something far more disturbing in my mind than pubic hair.) Most don’t seem to be concerned about crotch rot, despite typically being sweatier than women.

I’m not saying that they should worry about ball stench, but it is stupid for women to do so. Unless there is a serious medical condition that causes stench (in which case a doc should be seen), women need to be more like men. Assume your snatch smells fine and get on with life.