Oh, American women! For all the times you delight me (see: anything written by Suebob, Feministing, Broadsheet, etc.), you also make me despair (see: anything written by Caitlin Flanagan, Ann Coulter, that evil bitch who wrote a book about the righteousness of Japanese internment camps in the US in WWII, etc.). Behold the latest horror I have discovered: maternity thongs.
I’d think that all of the women in the world who would not want their underwear jammed in their asses, it would be pregnant women. Who would want to add an extra layer of discomfort to an already uncomfortable situation, I innocently think to myself. As usual, I’m wrong.
As I exited the subway yesterday evening, my eye was level to the ass of the woman ahead of me on the staircase. She was VERY pregnant. And despite the claim of thong-advocates that a primary benefit of thongs is lack of panty line when worn, her thong was clearly visible against her dress. Look, I agree that being pregnant should not condemn one to where I live (that would be dowdyland). But for god’s sake, a thong-line looks no more attractive than any other line caused by underwear. Of all the times to seize comfort over fashion, being pregnant should be prime. (Don’t get me started on pregnant women and heels…) As long as there is an increased chance of losing bladder control, I say, abandon the fashionista bullshit! You won’t look stylish after the fetus shifts positions and you piss yourself as a result, anyway.
I suppose that a pregnant woman could be wearing a thong to prepare herself for the constant discomfort of labor, but that seems awfully harsh. The whole thing is wrong, wrong, and more wrong.
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While I agree with you on the pantyline comment, I must disagree on your distaste for the thong. I was first introduced to my buddy, the thong at my friend Jayme's wedding. A fellow bridesmaid was shocked that I had worn anything but a thong (the whole panty line thing) with our bridesmaid dresses. I decided I had to have one..if not for every day wear then at least to have for the next wedding I would be in. After a couple of half hearted attempts to locate a thong that was the right size I gave up....Until it was time for my own wedding. I gave myself a generous budget to work with and I found heaven on earth....a wonderful soft, white, comfy thong from Victoria's Secret (which, they of course stopped making). Anyway, here is my number one argument for the thong. I suffer from weggies. I don't know what it is, but that is where my underwear likes to creep. If you think a panty line is bad, trust me, a weggie bunch is worse....and it is much more uncomfortable to litterally have your underwear wedged in your crack than to just have a tiny piece of thong to worry about. I rest my case.
ReplyDeleteHm...CUSS and now ass-crack freedom. All good subjects. I can't abide the thong. But I have always had a sensitive crack. And a sensitive everything else, too.
ReplyDeleteMartinez, I can see your point, but I never (or rarely) get wedgies from regular undies. I did a short survey on CUSS some months ago, and found that boy-cut undies are cute, but the most likely to give the wearer wedgies. Also, undies that are slightly cheek revealing as opposed to ones that fully cover the ass are more likely to creep. The granny undies work!
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