When I woke up yesterday morning, I discovered that my nose exploded down my throat overnight. In a quest for allergy medicine, I headed over to my local pharmacy, Duane Reade. Thanks to the jerks who live in the middle of nowhere and use Sudafed as the principal ingredient in crystal meth, the pills must be kept behind the pharmacy counter. I stepped in line.
As I waited my turn, a guy in his mid-20s asked to speak to the pharmacist. Now, the pharmacist at this place happens to be a crotchety man in his early 60s who is clearly bitter that he is stuck working at Duane Reade. I think he is hilarious. He approached the guy and asked what he needed.
"Do you sell anti-dehydration pills?" the guy asked innocently.
"Yes, and they are called bottles of water. We have them up front in the refrigerated case," the pharmacist snarled in a raspy voice as he stared at the guy as though he recently arrived on Earth from Uranus.
"No," the guy stammered, "I'm looking for anti-dehydration pills." I began to wonder if this guy lived in my building.
"Listen, I've been a pharmacist for longer than you've been alive, and there is only one way to prevent dehydration. It's called drinking fluids. I don't know who told y0ou about these non-existent pills, but suggest you try drinking more water." I think the pharmacist started snickering at this point, but I couldn't tell because I walked away quickly in an effort to not laugh in this poor fool's face myself.
I love people.
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I think the poor guy was looking for those little salt pills/electrolytes that keep you from dehydrating when you have diarreah or something. Seems to me the pharmacist was being the teensiest bit unprofessional in making the guy look like a fool in front of other customers when he was there legitimately seeking help. Sure, there are a lot of silly people in the world, but it doesn't elevate us to belittle them. (Boy, am I feeling sanctimonious today)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I was thinking the guy probably meant salt pills, too.
ReplyDeletei love it! let's hang out with the pharmacist next time i am in town.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny shit.
ReplyDelete"Thanks to the jerks who live in the middle of nowhere and use Sudafed as the principal ingredient in crystal meth" - We can't even buy white out without an ID.
Sure, they make valid points, but I still think your pharmacist is hilarious.
ReplyDeletethe pharmacist is funny, but probably also should be fired or at least threatened for being an ignorant asshole with no people-skills... he shouldn't wonder how he ended up at duane reade.
ReplyDeleteI must agree, that's what the guy likely wanted.
ReplyDeleteBut how fun it must have been for the pharmacist to say that, at least in the moment. I wonder if he felt bad later?
Poor diarrhea guy.