Back in November, I discovered that one of my bras went missing. It was very disconcerting, and not in the least because replacing it would cost me $68. I grit my teeth, chalked up my loss, and vowed to guard its fraternal twin (the missing bra was white; the remaining one beige) carefully.
So it was with enormous regret that I realized this week that my remaining fancy bra also disappeared. What the fuck? Where are these bras going? I looked everywhere: in the laundry, under my bed, on my rocking chair, in suitcases, in my undies drawer, and it was the same damn thing. The bra was gone without a trace. (Man, that would be a good episode of Without a Trace, watching Anthony LaPaglia and co. chase down missing items of clothing.)
Now that I lost another good bra, I had to buy replacements. I moseyed over to the old lady bra shop near my apartment. The type of place where the salespeople have been measuring women for bras since the bra was invented. Not only did I nearly faint from the sticker price - $142!!!!! - but I also was displeased to learn that I required a larger cup size.* Breasts certainly come at a high price, my friends.
*Interestingly, the bra I wore while shopping was deemed to fit perfectly, and I bought that one around the same time as the ones gone missing. It seems the manufacturer is making their boobie supports smaller rather than "Leon getting larger."**
**A hilarious quote from Airplane. I do not actually refer to my boobs as Leon, although now that I made this joke, I may begin to do so.
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g-d, i hate getting measured for bras. i'm always much bigger than i think i am. the last time i even bothered, i went to vicky's 5 years ago and they told me i needed to wear a 40d. i'd been wearing a 36c. arg! i agreed to try a 38d, but seriously, i don't see how i'm that big (cup-wise, i admit that i've got a giant ribcage, so i am that big around). i should probably go get measured again. i'm gonna need a good strapless for the wedding i'm in this june.
ReplyDeletesucks to lose bras, especially when you have to shell out that much money. my mother (& her mother before her) taught me not to skimp on good support.
Someone is clearly stealing your bras. It's not me because I'm too far away, but other possible suspects remain.
ReplyDeleteI've never been measured. I don't really want to because then they'll shatter my dream of being nice little average 34B, which means I can buy bras anywhere I want.
Shoot! I actually need some new ones as well just because mine are getting old and saggy. THE BRAS NOT ME! Well, I guess I am too. Anyway, I always get measured and I have NEVER gone up a cup size!!! How can you make that happen? Mine just tend to get smaller and smaller (but longer and skinnier. :() *lol*
ReplyDeleteThere's a Jewish guy on Orchard Street who does the measure by eye thing and also is not $142, or even $68. I remember more in the 25-35 range. Plus, I had been wearing a 38DD and he got me down to a 34DD, so I was happy. Speaking of which, mine have shrunk since the baby, so guess I will have to get measured. Again.
ReplyDelete$142!?
ReplyDeleteThis is why I don't wear a bra unless forced - seriously. I wear one to work in the summer when I have on less clothes. I wear one if I have to "look nice" for some reason. People marvel at this, because they have bought into the notion that women "must" wear a bra.
I am NOT small-chested. I am not physically uncomfortable. It's a myth that your boobs will sag more if you don't wear a bra.
I realize that I am probably the only woman in America with D-cups that doesn't wear a bra regularly.
I used to be a DD+ (I had breast reduction surgery to alleviate my constant back pain), and I can't imagine going without a bra. Like Mar, my mom emphasized how critical it is to get good support. I'm very intrigued that you've found this to not be the case, and super impressed. May others share those genes!!!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I should clarify that the $142 was for 2 bras, and although that is still outrageously expensive, not as bad as I might have inadvertently made it sound. Next time I am going to the croset Mara mentioned. I know exactly where that is (across the street from the crazy man who only does short cuts for women and used to cut my hair and Des's hair until we discovered that he was a racist in addition to possibly being a serial killer - serial killer I could tolerate, but not racist), although it creeps me out a little to have a Hasidic man eye-measure me.
I've never paid more than $15 for a bra... I guess that's a perk of having a C-cup.
ReplyDeletesee, that's my problem right there. no perk.
ReplyDelete*snicker* i had to say it.
I would be questioning your hubby :) That would make a good ending to your Without a Trace episode.
ReplyDeleteThe last bras I brought were at Boscovs and they were on sale at a 50% discount. I brought one Bali and two Warners for a total of $21.35 As far as I know, they fit OK. I use those online calculators to determine my size.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.mrbra.com/brasizecalculator.ivnu
A lot of the calculators tell you to wear a comfortable fitting bra. What? If I have a bra that is too small, it is probably changing the shape of my breasts and how is that going to help me to determine the correct bra size?
At least manufacturers are starting to realise that not everyone fits into distinct sizes and now you can get half sizes as well.
I know eactly where your bras are: they're with our tv remote. Your bras stopped by and picked up the remote for a cross-country sightseeing trip.
ReplyDeleteThe last e-mail I got from the bras and remote, they were in camping in a field in Crawford, TX.
They're hoping to confront Bush on the mandatory HDTV switchover, which will require the remote to allow a converter box into his home, and give the converter control over the tv. The remote feels passionately about this cause, but it appears the bras are merely along for the ride. Hangers-on, if you will.
First the gutting of the onstitution, and then the HDTV issue. Is this still America??
Hope this helps clear up any confusion on your part.
Ah, Ev. I so adore you.
ReplyDeleteYes, I would love it if Anthony Lapaglia would look very thoroughly for my bra (which I would just so happen to be actually wearing at that moment).
ReplyDeleteMaybe while you are in Enlgand you can get some of those bras at ASDA by the "model" who uses "real women" in her ads. I forget who it was but there is a link to it somewhere on your site.
ReplyDelete