Tonight my story about developing breasts and how boobs have affected me over time will be workshopped in class. I am excited, but also nervous. The good news is that a few people already mentioned that they enjoyed reading it. (Right after I submitted my work two weeks ago, I convinced myself that I would be asked to leave the program.) Mostly, I look forward to hearing what people think I can do to make it a richer piece, but I am also relieved that at least a few people found it funny.
If I am lucky, I will avoid the same fate I suffered in class last Wednesday. My mysterious digestive ailment reared its ugly head earlier that week, plaguing me with acid reflux and cramps. The cramps and gas pockets were particularly painful on Wednesday night, and it is only a testament to how much I enjoy my literature class that I was able to focus on the discussion while simultaneously worrying that I might literally shit myself.
During the peak of my mysterious digestive ailment, I often worried that I might poop my pants, but I had never done so. As I gathered my belongings and dashed out of the classroom last Wednesday, I felt wetness on my ass. Two possible explanations ran through my head: 1. I got my period early (please, please, please); or 2. anal leakage. Whatever it was, I prayed that I did not reek. The two women who walked out with me did not seem to notice anything, so I took that as a good sign. All I can say is that I subsequently learned that anal leakage does not smell. Sigh.
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i feel your pain. ulcerative colitis can be a b#tch like that too & i've had it since i was 20. that was a fun time temping in a call center before i was diagnosed & trying to avoid the doctor while feeling like i'd sh#t myself at any second. wee!
ReplyDeletePity that your brand of anal leakage does not stink (there are kinds that do, which I alas know from personal experience). That way if for some reason someone in class says "You stink!" you could attribute it to you, literally and not your writing.
ReplyDeleteKidding aside, I hope your workshop goes well and gives you some great feedback on how to make your writing even better.
yeah, will you be posting your story, revised or otherwise?
ReplyDeletepoo...
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you were using Alli:)
ReplyDelete--Steph
p.s. or eating copious amounts of potato chips containing olestra.