Hardee Har Har Har

My friend P.B. sent me a link to Pajiba.com, a site that wrote up a real time mockery of the movie Farce of the Penguins, which is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson. Here's my personal favorite part:

Jackson tells us that Antarctica is cold, cold enough to warrant a sweater or “maybe you want to wrap your pubic hair around your testicles. It’s that cold. If you’re a woman, you probably wouldn’t have testicles, so you’d let your pubic hair grow really long around your vagina.” You know, it’s not even funny when Sam Jackson says it. But you just have to love pubic hair humor, right? Always funny. That reminds me of a joke someone told me when I was 12: Why are public hairs curly? So you don’t poke your eye out! It’s best if you tell it in a pirate voice. Don’t ask me why.

Ha! It's true that jokes are funnier when told in a pirate voice regardless of whether they involve pubic hair or not. The review is hilarious even though it is not written in a pirate voice. This movie sounds horrifyingly bad.

On another pubic hair note, Suebob sent me a link to Mostly True Stories the tales of OB nurse who in this particular post reflects on pubic hair styles and nursing:

Labor nurses will talk about your bush. But don't think you can find out here what we think and then gussy yourself up before you go into labor to avoid being talked about. Because we don't all agree.

I think that the guiding principles of our bush styles, much like our hair (on our heads) styles might be in place before we ever really reach adulthood. I'm not saying that I still have the Farrah Fawcett wings that I had in junior high, or that my mom still has Donna Reed hair like she did in the '50s. But I do still favor straggly long hair, and she has gotten a perm every year since she was in high school.

When I was in high school, grooming the bush was taboo. It was the late seventies, early eighties. The natural look, you know -- it was the wash 'n go era. If your bathing suit didn't hide the bush, then you got a new suit. There was one girl at my high school who was rumored to have had a mutual pubic hair shaving episode with her boyfriend. We used to call them Mr. and Mrs. Gillette behind their backs.

But now, I fall into the live and let live category. I have too much else to worry about at work to notice your bush -- unless it REALLY gets in my way. But a lot of my coworkers feel that grooming is very important. Before you go into labor, they think you should get a pedicure and a Brazilian. Nonsense! But do try to wash up first...

Nonesense indeed. You'd think that a labor nurse might a)realize that it is not a good idea to have hot wax poured all over your pubic region right before you give birth for a variety of reasons, not the least being that a burn would be particularly bad at that point and b)understand that pregnant women might not have the time or money to pay for that kind of shit. This utter lack of common sense among so many people is why I despair over our future, although if you go to the full post on trimming hedges, you'll find a great joke about blueberries. Just tell it to yourself in a pirate voice, and it'll be that much more hilarious.