I’m on a crazy spree today. It was set off when I noticed a pair of flip flops on sale for "only $19.99" on the back of an Eddie Bauer catalog. (Remeber when flip flops cost $1.99 in the crap aisle of the local pharmacy and were pieces of shitty foam and plastic meant to be worn to the beach or pool? I miss those days.) You can ignore it if you want to. Here are my cardinal sins in women’s “professional” attire:
1. “Dress” shorts. I don’t give a rat’s ass if your shorts are tailored and made of fancy materials. They are still fucking shorts. They don’t belong at work unless you work in a place where it is generally considered OK to wear shorts anyway, so why bother wearing tailored ones?
2.“Dressy” flip flops. I don’t care if flip flops have the fucking Hope Diamond glued on them, they are fucking flip flops. Unless you work in the recreation industry, why on earth does anyone think that flip flops are appropriate for work? I see men wearing flip flops to casual events all the time. I do not see them wearing them to the office or formal occasions, like weddings. Men seem to have figured out that flip flops are not, in fact, shoes, even when they come with neat arch supports and gold braid.
Really, ladies. Could we act any more unprofessional? You want bare legs and/or toes in summer? Fine, wear a skirt. Ever heard of sandals? (You know, things with soles and at least some structure. Not the super strappy ones.) Sometimes I think that women will never be equal in the work place because at heart, we don’t really want it. Who the fuck can take a person wearing shorts or flip flops to work seriously? You can’t even bother getting dressed, and shorts look utterly ridiculous with suit jackets because they are shorts. Wear them to the damn beach or pool or park with your foofy flip flops.
Whew. Lots of rage radiating out of me, but I sure feel better now. Smile.
Update: I want to clarify. I don't care what people wear to work as long as they dress within reason. That means if men are expected to wear suits or shirts, pants, and shoes at a work place, I expect that women would also be expected to wear the same type of clothing. If no one is expected to dress nicely, then I don't care what women wear. (Except that I hate flip flops anyway. Just a personal thing.) The point is, if we want to be respected and taken seriously, we need to look the part at least a little bit.
oops. I committed all those offenses at work the other day. But I also work with kids and very often find myself cleaning shit or doing laundry.
ReplyDeleteI should have qualified this further to include non-office lines of work.
ReplyDeleteOMG! Dont they have a freaking dress code? GEEZ! Maybe they need a human resourcs refresher course at your office eh?
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly. However, after having gone shopping recently (yeah for weight loss!) I think it's hard to find affordable nice looking work clothes. Between the stuff that's frumpy and ill-fitting, the stuff that's not appropriate for work aka the work shorts and the expensive items that looks nice but are well expensive, there's not a lot out there. That's why I recently wrote a nasty email to a store that I shop out pretty frequently.
ReplyDeleteThe part you left out of here is that not only are inappropriate clothes at work inappropriate, but they force me to be inappropriate too. It's like a black hole of inappropriateness, sucking in innocent bystanders.
ReplyDeleteOur payroll lady wears these incredibly low cut blouses with some of the finest cleavage I've ever seen. I know that because I can't stop staring, both in awe and in little-old-lady consternation. I'd do her on the desktop if she asked, but I'm embarrassed for her when I see her cross the room.
Ditto for one of our male techs. His pants are so tight you can almost tell whether he's circumcised or not. Don't do that. Keep your private bidness private unless I specifically ask for a peek down your blouse or into your pants.
Amen, Suzanne. AMEN!
ReplyDeletePrude.
ReplyDeleteEv - have I ever told you how much I adore you? If not, I am saying it now: I adore you. If I said it already, then I'm repeating myself, but it is so worth repeating.
ReplyDeleteDes - Guilty as charged.
my current job has a pretty strict dress code. ie: must wear socks or stockings so sandals/flip flops are out. forget shorts, they won't even let you wear those dressy calf length pants that eveyone was wearing with boots last year (yipee, i thought that look was RETARDED, plus its too hot in florida for boots so you'd have to wear them w/ flipflops.) they also say only 2 pairs of earrings allowed and they must be on the ear lobes only.. oops im in violation. don't remember what else. oh yea, no tatoos visible...
ReplyDeleteSuzanne, if you are a prude, I suspect Des might find me downright shocking... but I am with you on all fronts, my friend.
ReplyDelete