In a morning full of utterly depressing news (anyone shocked that thanks to bungles by the Bush administration, terrorists are stronger than ever? No? I'm not either, but it is still depressing to think how many idiot Americans couldn't tell this was going to happen), I was slightly cheered by the New York Times first page photo of cute little Jami Waite. Who's Jami Waite, you ask. Why, she's a public face for the abstinence-only group Virginity Rules.
I can only picture the orgasmic glee that overtook officials at Virginity Rules when Ms. Waite joined their merry band. Really, what are the odds that a girl named Waite wants to wait? And that she's stereotypically attractive? One or the other seems like a good possibility, but the combination of name, (lack of) desire, and looks must be rare. Oh, the slogan possibilities! (Examples: "Waite with Me," or more luridly, "Cum Waite with Me") Surely God himself had a hand in this!
I love it. Not as much as the guy in the article who uses tape to illustrate how pre-marital sex prevents married couples from bonding properly, but I do love it.
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Perhaps she'll change her first name to Virginia.
ReplyDeleteSo, do we think that she is simply an actresss who plays a virgin on TV?
ReplyDeleteBahahahahahaha!! I read the Chron's article first, and they didn't have the tape thing, so I had to read the NYT's, too. Oh my god, that's so funny! They gave the stickiness away! I am just imagining lint and shit stuck to my vulva. "Sorry, husband, I cannot stick to you because I am so mired in grime!"
ReplyDeleteDamn, Mara! I love it. I guess that would really show God's hand, wouldn't it?
ReplyDeleteBryna - I debated whether she was one of those holier-than-thou types like Rep. Vitter (who is all about marriage and family values and secretly using "escort" services), but I'm taking her word for it. Although if she does give it up before marriage, the puns will be even more delicious.
Thee tape thing busted me up, too, Count. particularly because I wondered what happens if you marry the only person you had sex with before marriage. Is the tape still screwed up? If so, wouldn't the logical conclusion be that the tape stops sticking as the years of marriage go by? It is mind bogglingly complex.
OMG I have no stickiness left. THAT is why I can't get a date. It explains so much.
ReplyDeleteMan, that gave me the best laugh I have had in weeks. Thanks.
hey yall,
ReplyDeletei googled jami waite's name and i came across this blog. my name is ben, and i am a good friend of jami. i think its interesting how "famous" she is. we really just met last week, but we are pretty much extremely close.