The Smoke Behind the Mirror

A few days ago, Working Girl over at Mostly True Stories wrote a nice recommendation about CUSS. (And I must, in good faith, tell CUSS readers that her story about getting a cervical cap is about as priceless as it gets. This is not a you-scratch-my-back,I'll-scratch-yours type of thing. I'm saying it is a must read.) Anyway, part of her referral said:

I was kind of scared. I thought she was an angry feminist and that I had made an enemy. (I am also a bit of an angry feminist, but that doesn't mean that I'm too stupid to be afraid of other angry feminists.)

Then she went on to say nice things about me. This cracks me up because, as Working Girl so insightfully discovered, for all my vitriolic spew, I am really a big teddy bear pushover.

Seriously! Here I go and start about about hating the removal of female pubic hair and being all judgmental about the people who like it and their problems with accepting that adult women don't look like pre-teens. Then I meet all these really excellent women who say that they wax or shave or whatever and they personally like it for whatever reason. It makes me think about how much I hate it when people judge me and call me gross for my personal body preferences and here I am doing the same thing. So I decide that while I am a supporter of the beaver with its full coat, maybe I should back the fuck up when it comes to bugging other people. Unless they are automatons. (Automatons always deserve scorn for mindlessly following the advice of crap purveyors like Cosmo, which assures us that we will die alone and unloved and worst, uneaten if we dare to just be ourselves.) Logical people tend to make me get over my prejudices and biases and look outside my own little world. Not a very scary or angry reaction.

Sure there are core beliefs that I stand firm on, like my belief that while breastfeeding is clearly important, it's not my damn business to be harassing women who don't do it. I also like paying taxes, and feel that to live in a just society, Husband and I should pay our fair share of the benefits we reap. (That may mean I am crazy, though.) I can understand why people are against legal abortion based on their own moral code, but I'll never be convinced that I must be forced to live under their beliefs, nor will I accept that I don't have "values" because mine don't dovetail with the vice squad.

I'm happy that Working Girl and others stuck around CUSS for awhile to see behind the facade. I may talk tough, but really I'm just a another woman who is not quite 5'2", 128 lbs, married to the first person she slept with, doesn't tend to drink (and in fact regret that last night when I ordered a Toasted Almond at a bar, I forgot to tell the bartender to go heavy on the milk, easy on the amaretto, so it was too strong for me), is afraid of drugs, and has no tattoos. Not intimidating at all. Unless you mess with my family or friends. Then I will hunt you down and fuck you up. I think.