Hello from the Admirals Club in Dallas-Ft. Worth, where I am waiting out a two hour layover before boarding the flight to Honolulu. One of the many benefits of traveling with Husband is that I get to observe (and experience) the lifestyle of fancy-schmancy business travelers and the wealthy. What I discovered is that these people stink. Literally. (Proverbially, the top 2% live rather nicely, as the convenient free internet stands in the Admirals Club demonstrates.)
The flight to Dallas-Ft. Worth had two classes: first and coach. On that type of flight first class is really more like regular business class, but the hoity-toity have to accept it and sit amongst the hundred thousandaires or be forced to sit in the back with the riff-raff (where I belong). Anyway, not long into the flight, I used the bathroom. It was not smelling very fresh, even at that point. However, when I went back an hour or so later, I nearly fucking passed out it was so damn rank. I wondered who stuffed the dead body into the tiny room and how it managed to decompose so quickly. When I needed to pee again not long before landing time, I decided to wait it out, figuring there'd be a nice potty in the Admirals Club.
I was only half correct. The fixtures were very upscale, but the two stalls had the distinct odor of fresh diarrhea. (Sure that made me laugh when I typed it, but I wanted to cry in the bathroom while I emptied my very full bladder.) As a person with an on and off digestive ailment, I understand that sometimes you can't help where you have an explosion. However, I am starting to wonder if all the expensive food consumed by the upper class leads to more stink bombs in toilets.
Anyway, other than spilling orange juice all over Husband's seat and iPod during the flight, that's about it for now. Good times ahead.
Actually, I just looked out the window and a large fire appears to be ranging on the tarmac. Scary. More to come.
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You're in Texas. Things stink and catch on fire there.
ReplyDeleteDeal with it.
:)
But you travel everywhere, own an apartment in Manhattan, a car in Manhattan and don't work. How are you not rich, again?
ReplyDeleteSounds pleasant!
ReplyDeleteHave a great, sunless trip. ; )
ReplyDeleteI'll be here freezing my ass off on the east coast, keepin' it real for you...or something. ;)
Hey anonymous: 1) Husband does an enormous amount of business travel, and thus has racked up thousands and thousands of airline and hotel points. We did not pay for airfare or hotel accommodations on this trip. I also didn't pay for my flight to India. The hotel we stayed at in London over Thanksgiving was also free. 2) While it is true that I own an apartment in Manhattan, I bought it several years ago at a rock bottom price because it is on the ground floor facing the street. Our mortgage is pretty reasonable. 3) The car Husband uses to drive to work is paid for by his employer. 4) I claim that I don't work, but I actually did several lucrative consulting jobs and also wrote a book this year, so I earned a fair amount of money.
ReplyDeleteI won't say that we don't do well, but I also wouldn't say that we are "rich." Although, quite frankly, both of us frequently stink up bathrooms.