Other than embarrassing myself with the Great Dildo Debacle of '07, I spent nearly every waking moment outside this weekend. At one point, I considered that my allergies were sending up warning flares, but I ignored them. The weather was just too tempting.
The other thing that spending a lot of time outdoors leads to is tiredness. Although I was exhausted last night, the nasal drip geyser and itchy soreness at the back of my throat kept me up.
"I know," I thought to myself around 11:30. "I'll take two Benadryl! Not only will that help with my allergies, but it will also make me sleep. I'm a genius!" I gulped the pills down. And we all know that I should never, ever take things to help me sleep.
Several hours (minutes? Seconds?) later, I woozily awoke with a full bladder. Zombie-like, I staggered into the bathroom. The room was spinning. I'm only 97% sure I remembered to wipe before trudging back to bed, holding the wall for support.
At some point later, I thought I was drowning. With much effort, my eyelids were unwillingly pried open. I was lying in a pool of drool. Even my faithful companion, Theo the teddy bear, was covered in slobber. Or at least the left side of his face was. Husband was spared, though, and I decided to keep it that way by moving to the couch.
While relocating, I pondered the existence of God. If there is in fact a god, it is definitely genderless or hermaphroditic. But which one? Employing the principals of ying-yang, I decided that any possible god is a hermaphrodite. What do you think?
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I say hermaphroditic. The bible references archangels covering their "feet" (read:genitals) so I figure if angels have equipment, so does god. And mankind is supposed to be made in "his" image, so that would explain why we all have plumbing. Of course, we split it so we all don't have the same stuff as god.
ReplyDeleteI actually think that any power that created the universe is genderless. I think we "create" the need for it to have a body like our own. Religion is mankinds way of explaining what he has not found a way of explaining himself. Oraganized religion is a way of controlling mass amounts of people. (I have a whole theory....I could teach a class*laughs*)
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