So I went to remove my contacts lenses from my tired eyeballs at 10:37 pm CST. That is when I discovered that the bottle of contact lense solution that I thought I packed was saline nasal spray. If I were in NYC and ran out of sight enhancing juice, I would merely wak to the nearest 24 hour Duane Reade pharmacy three blocks up the street. In the 'burbs of Chicago, I have to borrow my parents car and drive for five minutes to the nearest 24 hour Walgreens and hope I don't fall asleep while driving and kill anyone. I never worry about falling asleep while I walk somewhere, and if I did, I doubt anyone except possibly me would die as a result. And did I mention that gas is $3.57 a gallon here? No, I didn't think I did.
The good news is that when I got to Walgreens I actually remembered that I wanted a powder brush so that I could actually use the $30 container of face powder that I bought at Sephora last week. (I already returned the $38 brush that I also bought.) Walgreens offered a powder brush of dubious quality for $3.99. I'll take it! How often will I use it anyway? (Although is it a little fucked up that I plan to apply expensive powder with some brush made of walrus whiskers or whatever from China?) The kicker is that if I bought one cheap ass brush, I could get another for free! I debated for a few minutes whether I wanted another eyeshadow brush (the one I have is at least 20 years old and probably full of deadly germs) or a blush brush that I could use for the new bronzer I also got at Sephora? I opted for the blush brush. I figured my eyeshadow brush hasn't given me any infections in the ten times I've used it in the past three years, so I'm probably good to go at least another decade with it. I spent so much time staring at make-up applicating tools that I almost forgot to grab the fucking contact lense solution that dragged my ass out of the house and forced me to drive on a car full of $3.57 per gallon gas to Walgreens in the first place. The free brush would make it worth it if it was something that I would use frequently, which I won't, but it's almost a fair trade.
Anyway, on my way home, I reflected on my recent decision not to apply to Columbia for an MFA. Given the price tag, my mom was on the right path - MFA does stand for "Motherfucking Atrocity" in this case. Then it hit me that my freakin' Masters in Public Administration (and Policy) degree from Columbia ran me about 25 fat Gs per year when I attended that fine institution of learning almost 10 years ago. Now it is 32,000 big ones and change. May I once again mention that gas is $3.57 per gallon here? Inflation is a bitch.
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Luckily while getting your MFA at Columbia you will not be paying $3.57 for gas in Chicago.
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