Mars, A Frozen Block of Chocolate, Caramel, and Nugut

As I tossed and turned in the wee hours of the morning, I felt the powerful gravitational pull of Mars. Mars being the British chocolate bar that has been sitting in my freezer since April or so. I was saving it as a reward for whenever I had a final answer regarding my two MFA applications, but I have my period, insomnia, and a low level of self-control at this moment. Plus, (in theory, anyway)I am so damn close to the end at this point, why bother resisting? When Mars softly called my name from the freezer, I heeded its cry.

The problem with a candy bar that resided in a freezer for two months is that it is essentially a concrete block. Sure, it is a delicious concrete slab, but I nearly broke my front teeth when I bit into it. (A word of advice: let frozen candy bars melt down a wee bit before attempting to eat them.) The caramel was particularly challenging to consume, as it somehow managed to be both hard and chewy at the same time. I sort of slobbered all over the bar and wrapper as I ate it, partly thinking that my hot saliva would melt its tundra-crust, and partly because it took so long to slice off a piece with my choppers that saliva gushed out during the process. (A second word of advice: do not share a frozen candy bar unless you are really close with that person.)

It was good. I still didn't fall into a peaceful sleep after eating it, but it did quell some sort of deep hunger. When I woke up, I didn't remember my late night snack until I opened the freezer to grab the chicken-apple breakfast sausage and noticed an empty space where Mars lived for so long. Then I thought that by eating it, maybe instead of making Mohammed come to the mountain, I'd make the mountain come to Mohammed. I doubt it, but it would be nice if my year-long MFA process (I decided to apply last year around this time) would come to some conclusion. To be continued...