Ocean City Report: Hot and Wet

At the BBQ dinner last night, The Explorer and the Publicist picked up where their conversation left off the prior night. The Publicist repeated her wisdom that a vibrator can only do so much, and The Explorer opined that vibrators could actually do too much. She pointed out that the nerves are extra sensitive in that area, and can be damaged with too much vibration. Since real penises don’t vibrate, dildos were perfectly capable of doing the job.

The Explorer also told the Publicist about a video that she saw when she was in college during one May, which is National Masturbation Month. The Committee on Masturbation Education (COME) screened a video hosted by Femme Fatale, a former porn star, about the importance of female ejaculation. In the video, Femme, dressed in a lab coat and glasses (the wardrobe choice of educational porn stars everywhere), sat around with a group of women, jerking themselves off and squirting noisily as they came. The Explorer said the poorly edited video is hilarious, but noted that the main advantage of the female orgasm is that it is not messy, so why would anyone go out of her way to change that? She recently purchased the video from Good Vibrations, and will be holding a girls-only screaming – I mean, screening. The Publicist said she was looking forward to attending.

In other news, I further explored the Boardwalk. It really is loaded with the worst food and tourist crap on the planet. I am intrigued by the cemetery-themed mini golf course, though, and hope to try it this week. I also walked a bit more around the downtown area, and it has lots of cute little shops, one called “Toilet Water.” Speaking of water, there is a water fountain in front of the City Hall that is inscribed with the words “Christian Temperance.” I noticed that the water was extra refreshing when I drank from it. Eventually, I hope to get to the Seashell Museum and Shell Garden. It sounds like a horrendously cheesy place. Also, Lucy the Elephant, a six-story elephant shaped building is nearby. There is actually a guided tour in the building and exhibit. Nice! Steph is interested in trekking out to see it as well. Perhaps this is not as exciting as female ejaculation, but fun shall be had!

(Happy 30th birthday to Husband!!!! It's going to be a scorcher - at least 97 degrees in a place that rarely goes above 85. We may celebrate at a water park tonight after entering the belly of the beast - Lucy - this afternoon.)