In about one year, my mother-in-law (MIL) will gain a second daughter-in-law. Although Brother-in-Law (BIL) is as odd as Husband is (in his own special way, of course), don’t worry about MIL needing to cope with another freak for a daughter-in-law. Nope, Future-Sister-in-Law (FSIL – she doesn’t like the acronym for Brother-in-Law’s Spouse, although I find it hilarious) is not only stylish, well-groomed, and intelligent, but she is also normal.
For example, let’s say something malodorous permeated the air. FSIL will cheerfully wrinkle her cute nose and refer to whatever is offending the senses as “smelly.” I, on the other hand, will ask what “reeks like a rank fucking plop of diarrhea” and then laugh hysterically. Sure, she likes sci fi, but she keeps her “uncool” predilections much better hidden than I do and is polite.
Not only is FSIL pleasant and attractive, but she also wants to have kids. I am a dried up barren hag who most likely could not produce an heir to Husband’s currently non-existent fortune even if I wanted to. It’s not that I don’t like kids, because I do, and I am very dedicated to ensuring that less privileged children get a fair shake in life, but I prefer them at a distance and/or in short bursts. Thus my destiny as the runner-up daughter-in-law is fait accompli – MIL can’t wait to have some cute potentially red headed grandkids.
Don’t get me wrong. She never nags me or bothers me about it, and Husband insists I am being ridiculous. Still, I’m jealous. Who knew that sibling rivalry extended to sibling-in-laws?
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OK I wrote a long comment about how it wasn't a rivalry, but then I erased it because it kinda sounded insulting even though I didn't want it to.
ReplyDeleteIf it was a areal rivalry, there would be catfights. My money's on you, but FSIL might pull out a surprise 1-2.
You are a delight to be around. Surely that counts for something?
ReplyDeleteAs said MIL I want everyone to know that I am thrilled that you are part of our family. I love you because of who you are and the respect and love that you have shown us, and of course because you make my son happy. Who could ask for more from a DIL ( is that the correct term?). It makes me angry when you refer to yourself in unflattering terms, since that is definitely not the way me or anyone else sees you. You will never be second best.
ReplyDeleteTo extend on what Pat said (and I really couldn't say anything more touching), you and FSiL are two completely different people for a reason. It'd be an actual rivalry if you had to contend with someone who talked about unshaved snatch all the time and said "fuck" a lot, and while you might say these similarities are appealing, you might also say you felt like you were being replaced. But you could never be replaced, because you are Suzanne and you are awesome and any family is privileged to have you in it.
ReplyDeleteBut...I didn't know FSiL liked sci-fi. That is very interesting. I wonder what else she has under that "normal" appearance of hers...
It's so cute how Pat P. loves you!
ReplyDeletePat's comments were about the sweetest thing ever and she is right. Besides, if all else fails, you got there first :)
ReplyDeleteYou make life much more interesting. I know your MIL and FIL love having you around.
ReplyDeleteSuz, I agree with Pat 125%. When you sprang from my loins, it's true that a very unique person was born, and the mold was definitely broken. Stop tearing yourself down; it pisses me off. You are you, and the world is a much happier place as a result.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'm being too hard on myself, although I certainly appreciate all the very nice things you have all said. I find self-deprecation combined with exaggeration and a hint of true insecurity to be funny. If you can't mock yourself, you should not mock others. That's mostly what's behind this.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Pat P. and birthmother. suzanne, you are awesome and me and dr. h are pissing ourselves reading your crazy stories.
ReplyDeleteone way to settle this- pillow fight.
ReplyDeleteGive PatP. some credit and stop being such a doodyhead!
ReplyDelete