My last day at my job is Thursday. While it is beyond time to leave after almost five years of bullshit, I am not eagerly anticipating my departure. Partly my nervousness is due to my strange co-dependent relationship with my work, and partly because I have nothing else really lined up. Sure, I’ll have more time to write, but it’s not like there are publishers lining up with numbers at the Reisman Deli Counter of Words. Also, I’ll miss being a do-gooder, particularly now, when there are a lot of interesting things happening in my field in the City.
My other big concern is that I am going to wind up as a housewife. Now, don’t get your knickers in a knot, there is nothing wrong with women and men who aspire to be full-time homemakers. I just happen to not want to do that. Housework has long been my enemy, and if I am home and Husband is earning the dough to support us, then it is only fair that I take on most of the chores. I know this and dread it, and Husband did not make me feel any better about it when he made a comment about it over breakfast on Sunday.
While I was working, Husband already earned at least three times more than me, but I was OK knowing that I contributed something to the household. In addition, I supplied more than three times the amount of positive karma to our household through my work attempting to make the world a better place for low income kids. Now, I’m just contributing a big, fat zero. Scratch that – since I spend money, but don’t earn any (my jokes don’t count as income) myself, I actually am a negative asset.
Bah. It’s going to be interesting times.
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you will NEVER be a negative asset. but, all corniness aside, you are not one to sit back and do nothing. you are refueling and on to bigger and better things. i do understand how you are feeling because i get into funks all the time about this and that. i always wonder if i should be doing something else and what that would be.
ReplyDeleteHm...perhaps something do-gooderish that uses all your skills, makes you happy, pays your share of the bills and contributes to your emotional well-being?
ReplyDeleteIt's out there. I can feel it. NYC is a big place.
You are not a negative asset. You are way cool.
ReplyDeleteIt seems it would be better not to consider yourself as a asset or a liabity. You are the flip side of the marriage. Mr. Hubby is on the other flip side.
ReplyDeleteHe goes out and brings home the deer and that leaves you to prepare it because he has to go back out and wrestle another deer or bear and break its neck.
That is one way to think of it. Another way is enjoy what you have and you will have more time to pursue your interests and probably more time together as a couple.
Eddie Landers
Hey - you are forgetting the positive karma you nring in through Haven! It might not be paid, but it sure as hell is work. Hang in there. I went through a lot of the same angst my last year in NYC when I was unemployed and doing Haven work, and my hubby was bringing home all the bacon. Unlike you, however, I have no talent - you also have the karma points for the joy you bring all your readers!
ReplyDeleteI'll trade you jobs. You go look up numbers on the computer and write them on paper, and I'll not clean your house.
ReplyDeleteBut I get paid still, ok? Sadly, (for now) I am the veggie-bacon bringer.
you are so NOT a negative asset. cheer up, congrats on almost being done w/ that hellish job. you'll find another do-gooder thing when you are ready for it.
ReplyDeleteand i agree, Haven counts.