Wednesday, December 6, 2006

The CUSS Victoria's Secret Anti-Fashion Show: Lessons Learned

Stop the insanity of modeling! Look, I know that few adult women really believe that the purchase of a particular product will make her look like the six foot, 115 pound model that a company hires to hawk their wares. (In Victoria’s Secrets’s case, wares are also wears. Ba dum dum cha.) I also know, thanks to the Dove “Real Beauty” campaign (in which skinny, average, and above average sized women pushed cellulite reducing cream), that people like movie critic Richard Roeper object to seeing real women in their underwear. (As a reminder, he wrote: I find these Dove ads a little unsettling. If I want to see plump gals baring too much skin, I'll go to Taste of Chicago, OK? I'll walk down Michigan Avenue or go to Navy Pier. When we're talking women in their underwear on billboards outside my living room windows, give me the fantasy babes, please… If that makes me sound superficial, shallow and sexist -- well yes, I'm a man.)

Setting aside Roeper’s concept that the purpose of all lingerie advertising is to please men like him, I find these underwear models (and other models) rather useless at selling me things. I know that I am not going to look like those women in whatever they are wearing that I am supposed to buy. I am 5’1” and I weigh 125 pounds. While that makes my body mass index a tad under overweight, it also means that I weigh either the same or more than women who are at least 10 inches taller than me. There is no way I will look like they do, no matter what I wear, ever.

Thus, I have no idea at all what I might look like in do in the products they are selling, and worse, can only assume that I will look much less attractive than the models. If that is the case, why on earth would I buy those things? If Victoria’s Secret or other clothing purveyors really want to create a burning desire in me to buy their shit, than show me some people who are a reasonable facsimile of me. It doesn’t have to be an exact replica, as I have provided for the anti-Fashion Show, but something at least a bit more relatable. And if that is a problem because people like me don’t look good in anything your company makes, than I’d say we have a larger problem, don’t we? Perhaps you might consider designing things for women who have a little heft on their hips, stomachs, and thighs besides granny underwear.

Now that’s a million dollar concept, not some freaky chain-mail bra custom made with diamonds all over it.

9 comments:

  1. You will be very excited about a new lingere line in the UK. Jordan, aka Katie Price, is a model and sort of bimbo who is redeemed by not taking herself at all seriously. In launching this line, she said "There are lots of people who promote their underwear with stick-thin models but I wanted to use my family and friends. So that's what I did." Models, pictured in the link, include her mom. Best of all, the stuff will sell at ASDA (same company as Walmart) so no need to pay through the nose for it . . .

    http://www.hellomagazine.com/celebrities/2006/11/14/jordan-lingerie-asda/

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  2. There is a bathing suit store I go to called Malia Mills. They ask people who actually buy their suits to send in pics and use those pics as models. I love it. I found a picture of a girl looking all cute in a suit and, just like me, she had a too big bottom and too small top. I knew exactly what I would look like so no unrealistic expectation disappointment.

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  3. Mara - Katie/Jordan is SCARY looking, but her idea is pretty awesome. Her friends and mom rock, and they all look great. Much more encouraging to me.

    Sara - I have walked by Malia Mills on Columbus and been impressed with the different women whose pictures were up. I think it does help when I think about what might look good on me and what I want to stay away from when I saw people of a variety of shapes. I mean to go there to actually buy a suit at some point, but I don't have a need for one. Next time.

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  4. Men are luckier than women. If we buy stuff that looks good on a male model we figure we look that good, ha,ha..

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  5. I think I'm going to buy that diamond bra (or get it as a present). I'll send you my picture. Or sell it on ebay to pay for the bra.

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  6. Hm, I'm not sure about all the use of the word "curvaceous" in the Hello magazine article. When it was first applied to "Jordan," I figured it meant "clearly surgically enhanced with massive boobies." But when applied to the friends and family, I figured it must mean "not anorectic," because her friends, minus mom and the pedicurist, look like models themselves...

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  7. Sounds like someone is somewhat bitter and has an extreme case of jealousy. Quit ragging on the models and hairless vaginas, and give us something worthwhile to talk about.

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  8. Its just underwear. I dont look like them at all but I buy their stuff anyways because its cute, well made and it last long too. Plus why are you ragging on the models? They're just doing their job, they were hired to wear the stuff and I bet if you had their bodies and you were hired to be an angel I'm sure you would. Im sure you would strut their stuff down that runway with the rest fo them. So please back off victoria secrets. Its not their problem that you can't stay in shape

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  9. listen lady the point of sexy underwear is to take it off, you're not gonna keep it on for very long so shave your cunt and shut up

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