Cussplaint

Whenever someone leaves a comment on CUSS, it is emailed to me. This is good because otherwise I would miss comments on older posts, but difficult because the email does not give me any clues as to what post the comment responded to. Yesterday, I received this nasty anonymous (the best usually are) little comment:

Sounds like someone is somewhat bitter and has an extreme case of jealousy. Quit ragging on the models and hairless vaginas, and give us something worthwhile to talk about.

No, no, no! This comment is just all wrong. I am not somewhat bitter. I am extremely bitter. On the other hand, while I may be somewhat jealous of models (and never pretended that I wasn’t), I think any regular CUSS reader will agree that that I continue to be only 100% honest when I say that I harbor no secret hankerings for a hairless harpsichord. (Ha! Try saying that three times fast!) Nor is it like those are hard to come by if I did happen to want to defoliate the luscious CUSS forest. I could frequent any of the disturbing salons in New York and emerge hairless, $75 poorer, and in pain 60 minutes later.

My advice to the anonymous: if you don’t want to talk about any of the topics covered here, just read something else. No need to chide me because my interests that don’t happen to match your boring ones. (I’m just assuming that you are a yawn because you spend your time criticizing me, but throw out no ideas of your own.) In fact, I dare you to send me some topics that you think would be more fun to discuss. I’m always open to new concepts, although there is the risk I may mock you if I think your “brilliant” ideas are fucking retarded. At least I have the hairy balls to be upfront about what captures my attention. There’s no point in getting all huffy if you can’t express what you think would drive conversation in the first place.

So there.