I am quite lucky so far in that none of my friends have stopped speaking to me as a result of my blog, and in fact, have been very supportive and enthusiastic. Because I could totally understand if someone read it and realized that I am a judgmental bitch and decided to never talk to me again (although I fully realize that some people are friends with me precisely because I am a judgmental bitch with an agenda with which they happen to agree). So I am all the more pleased by the following exchange I had with a friend on email:
Friend: I have to admit to wearing thongs when working out :)
Me: And it doesn't bother you? I can't see how that is comfortable. But then again, you may have noticed that I have a lot of rigid preconceived notions. Maybe I will have to try it out myself and then I can write about it...
Friend: Actually, I find it more comfortable. Keeps me from getting wedgies! I think you do need to try out some of the things that you rant against. We will start with thongs at the gym and maybe even move onto a waxing. :) You can't rail against stuff you haven't tried and I am a firm believer that a little bit of wax (not totally bald, that is gross) used by both parties is a good thing.
While I disagree on two points (1. I rail very nicely against stuff I’ve never tried – that’s the beauty of being a slight hypocrite; and 2. I have tried waxing and it usually results in ingrown hairs and rashes, so I’m no more attractive than I was as a hairy ape), I agree that I should investigate the thong thing more fully. Hence I pledge that I will purchase a thong and a g-string (the latter because I find it hysterical) and test them out, with a full report to be issued at CUSS. I love these little experiments/undercover ops where I pretend to be a normal female and most likely fail miserably, which results in fine tragicomedy. Stay tuned.
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while you are out purchasing, you can skip the as doily/thongstring thing- i wore one today and thought of you every time i had to pick the nasty thing out of my ass. i fell for the ass-flattery angle (which was moderately sucessful at making my ass look alright, and nicely bringing attention the cellulite on my thighs) but having to pick that much material out of you ass every 15 minutes isn't worth it (especially if you spend your day in meetings where you hope to make a decent impression).
ReplyDeleteWere you aware that there is a special technique for getting a thong out of your ass? Sometimes when the damn thing gets buried so damn far in your asscrack, the tightness and/or fabric of your pants literally inhibits you from being able to grab ahold of the thing. Instead, you actually have to stick your hand down the back of your pants and the thong and push it out. PUSH NOT PULL - that's the technique. I credit Jenn S. for teaching me that at work at good ol' MTV Networks where you learn all sorts of valuable things.
ReplyDeletei've found that the push from inside the pants technique works quiet well for regular underwear that has ridden up also, not just thongs... and here i thought i was being original or something...
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