Why Even Bother?

When your underwear looks like this:


Why are you bothering to wear underwear at all? Actually, I shouldn't call them underwear as underwear connotes some form of useful coverage. I will call these "under-strings-with-pouches" (USWPs). The USWPs pictured will cost someone $18 (the front shot) or $28 (the back shot) to purchase at everyone's favorite neighborhood mall purveyor of lingerie, Victoria's Secret. Here's a friendly tip from Aunty Suzanne: save your money and go bare under your clothes. Men will find that just as sexy and exciting. If you didn't wipe well after taking a crap, USWPs sure ain't gonna protect your clothes anyway, and it's not like you'll be any more chafed than you would if you wore a USWP. I guess it could be a problem if you shaved off all your pubic hair and thus have nothing to stop your pants from rubbing raw skin, but that's why you should not have shaved off all your pubic hair in the first place, isn't it?