I had dinner with Dr. P and Future Dr. H on Monday night. Future Dr. H is starting her OB/GYN residency in June, and Dr. P is completing a surgery residency with an eye towards colorectal surgery, so you can imagine how exciting dinner conversations are between the three of us. I suggested that in the future, Dr. P and Future Dr. H should open a practice together. That way, women can have both ends taken care of at one place. I even offered my services as the office manager. What better way to use a public administration degree than managing the operations of a cooch and ass practice? I'm serious!
Anyway, I was very intrigued but not surprised to learn from Future Dr. H that anal sex is practiced among heterosexual couples at much, much higher rates than publicly reported. It seems, however, that heteros are fucking stupid assholes when it comes to coming in the asshole. Many people don’t use nearly enough lube, which causes some serious ass damage to women. Others don't use an enema or condoms, leading to nasty dick infections, not to mention doody dick.
I'm not sure why people would not think about these concepts, but it certainly is another good argument for comprehensive sex education. It's a futile argument at this point, given the Bush administration's public hatred of anything except abstinence and missionary-position "normal" sex between married couples. Not that most of the adminsitration practices what they preach, but they are all shit dicks anyway.
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With all those technical words you used I think you should volunteer to write their pamphlets for them.
ReplyDeleteLike: Does your fucking eye hurt?
or
The pros and cons of being fucked in the ass.
I seriously just snorted. There is nose-coffee all over my computer. Kinda like sh*t d*ck, right.
ReplyDeleteFuckin' a, those are some hilarious comments! et, that was brilliant! I would totally help you write those pamphlets, Suzanne. I have had excessive trucker mouth tonight and I think all of my friends at dinner this evening (who are less verbally gifted in the way of the foul), have had enough of me and really need an ear cleansing.
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