It Takes Two

For no apparent reason, Husband was sent a free copy of Tango!: The Magazine about Relationships. I decided it would be a good read while I took an incredibly smelly and massive dump. I started by reading a ridiculous article about lingerie, skimmed the following article that was completely unmemorable, and then I got to the article about kosher sex.

The author was a nonreligious Jew for many years and then became Hasidic. The article was about how her sex life is much better because she is banned from sex during her period and for several days afterward until she is “clean” enough to go to the mikvah, a ritual bath meant to make sure that women don’t pollute their holy men.

The author insisted that the fact that she and her husband are forbidden to touch while she is in her filthy state, and the fact that men and women who are not married or related are never allowed alone in a room together (even the living room or kitchen), that they can never touch anyone of the opposite sex, even to shake their hands. makes their sex lives much hotter. She felt that the ban made things better because her husband “does not have to be grossed out by period sex.” Who the fuck was forcing him to have sex with her when he was so repulsed by it?

The article did point out one good thing about Judaism, women, and sex, and that is the marriage contract (ketubbah). The contract states that the husband must give his wife sexual pleasure (this does not only relate to Orthodox Judaism, not that the article mentions that), so that is cool. Otherwise, the hatred and demonization of women’s reproductive processes are vile. Shabbat shalom, assholes!