CUSS Origin Story

One rainy evening in October, I met my friend for what promised to be a night of oddity. First, we met at a pub for a snack/dinner (incredible butternut squash soup) before checking out Rev. Jen’s Anti-Slam. I would normally walk the short distance to the pub from my office, but it was cold, windy, and wet outside, so I took the subway. I was in a pissy funk when I got on the train, and some sexist ad for something set me further off. “I should start a blog where I can rant about the stupidity of life, organized in principle around some theme,” I fumed to myself. I decided that the perfect theme which I could radiate my anger around would be Brazilian and bikini waxes. I cheered up a bit at the thought.

I really love creating amusing acronyms. I have a semi-successful track record of doing so when called upon for inspiration. When I was in college, I interned at a government agency in Chicago for two summers. One summer, the department was rolling out a new program to serve an increased number of low income children, and they wanted a snappy name with an even snappier acronym for it. On the el home that night, I scratched out Childcare Resource and Assistance Program (CRAP). The next day, I explained to my superiors that the program’s slogan could be, “Don’t got CRAP yet? We’ll give it to you!” They were highly amused, but went with some name that spelled out CARE.

Last year ago, I was filling out a grant application and needed a smart little name for a sub-program which required funding. After an afternoon of pondering, I pulled Financial Education for Early Childhood Educators (FEECES) out of my ass. This cracked me up, so I actually wrote it in the draft proposal and emailed to my boss and the development associate for proof reading, as usual. I knew that my boss opened it a few minutes later when I heard hysterical laughter emanating from his office. Later that day, the development staff member called me, very concerned. “You are not really serious about the program name, are you?” she asked in a disturbed voice. I assured her that while I thought FEECES was a brilliant name, I knew that it would have to be changed before the proposal was sent in. She was relieved that I was not a total fucking maniac.

All this brings me to the Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS). As I sat on the subway, I musing over the idea for a blog. By the time I walked into the pub, I had the blog’s title and purpose mostly laid out in my mind. There was a big sheet of paper on the table that M. sat at that served as a table cover, as well as a few crayons for patrons to amuse themselves with as they waited for food. I took a crayon, drew it all out for M, she liked it, and the next day, the Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants premiered on Blogspot. The rest, as they say, is (a mere incident that is unlikely to impact) history.