There's a Mars bar waiting for me on my kitchen counter. It's been waiting patiently for me since I brought it back with me from London on March 23. I decided that I would eat it when I know whether or not I will be attending an MFA program in the fall. The Mars bar is getting lonely.
I'd like to know what is going on for the fall, and to eat this delicious, chocolatey, caramel treat. (British Mars bars kick the asses of the American version. They are more like a super extra smooth and tasty 3 Musketeers, which is my favorite American mass market candy bra. Mars bars are even better than 3 Musketeers.) However, somehow between my eating trip to London, my non-stop snacking thanks to anxiety, and my lax attendance at the gym (coupled with lazy workouts when I did manage to roll myself there), I am not fitting into my clothes very well. As in, pants are mad tight, and shirts clearly highlight my pot belly.
This all brings me to The Biggest Loser, which is an oddly compelling reality show about extremely overweight people trying to lose weight. Last week, the first time I tuned in this entire season (although there were only 3 left - better late than never!), people were sobbing their eyes out when they had to vote someone out for merely gaining a pound. (He lost over 100!) It was touching and weirdly inspiring. Not as inspiring as when Alex came to visit me recently, got me to run outside for the first time in forever, and then invited me to take part in a team triathlon with her (I'll run, she'll swim, and her friend will bike - playing on all our strengths), but uplifting enough for me to write a run-on sentence.
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1. You are petite and slender, and it is slanderous to refer to your pot belly.
ReplyDelete2. Would you wear a candy bra under a Freudian slip?
Ooof - it's a little pot belly, but it's making my generally OK fitting shirts way too form fitting. When you can see my belly indentation through a shirt, that's a little pot belly! I'm not saying I'm fat or need to lose oodles of weight, just needing to cut back on the junk and go to the gym a bit more. get back to some of my healthier habits.
ReplyDeleteAs for the candy bra, dude, I'm eating that thing when I hear from New School!
I was going to call you out on the bra/bar typo, but Mock beat me to it. I think they sell candy bras at that porno store near your house.
ReplyDeleteYep, I promise to go to the sex shop and buy and eat a candy bra if I get into New School. Photos will be uploaded. If I don't get in, it's only the Mars bar. (A Mars bra would be cool, if a little messy.)
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say I've never had a candy bra or candy undies.
ReplyDeleteMy secret pleasure however is the Biggest Loser. I LOVE that show. My daughter and I TiFaux it and watch it religiously on the weekend. It is inspiring - I love the before pictures when they weigh in - these people have lost serious amounts of weight. Anyway, it's my favorite reality series.
Go Team Formula Fed and Unshaved Snatch!
ReplyDeleteThe Biggest Loser ALWAYS makes me cry! When they've lost so much and go home. Some people don't like it because of some reason or other, but I think it's great.
ReplyDeleteand the best foreign candy bar is the chocolate covered honeycomb-like one. I could eat those all day.... oof.
Interesting that not only did you make that 'freudian' slip about the candy bra but also managed to get the word 'uplifting' into your final sentence
ReplyDeletewow! i must really be tired because i always notice typos & completely skimmed by the 'bra'.
ReplyDeletealso, do they even have american mars bars anymore? i thought they stopped making those. i shoulda got one in london. dang!
looking forward to images of you eating a candy bra. ha!