I just saw a Bounty paper towel commercial that left me slack jawed. Here's the paraphrased scene:
Dad and son stand, leaning over a big brown puddle of what I think is pop (or soda to you non-Midewesterners) and empty glass.
Dad: Wow, that's a three sheeter!
Son: No, it's a four sheeter!
Mom stands in background near paper towel dispenser.
Mom: It's a one sheeter!
She rips off a towel...
Cut to me in my living room. I think to myself, she is going to give the guys who made the mess the paper towel so they can clean it up, right? No way she is going to walk across the kitchen, get down on her hands and knees, and clean the spill while the guys just stand around, right? Right? Back to scene...
A female arm with the same color sweater as the mom was wearing swipes the paper towel over the pop. She then goes on to clean something that I swear is a blob of jizz off of a doormat.
Cut back to me. What the fuck? Seriously, I hope when she wiped up the spunk, she applied for membership in the jizzmoppers union. (No joke - there's really a jizzmoppers union.) At least she wouldn't also have to mop up spilled beverages as well.
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What the fuck? It's 2008... and... egh. I'm glad I had the pleasure of escaping that one.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog by the way!
I saw that commercial today (but wasn't paying close enough attention to notice who cleaned it up!) Those commercials are ALWAYS like that.
ReplyDeleteThere's really a jizzmoppers' union?! Is this somehow affiliated with the porn industry?
ReplyDeleteDid she do it with an orgasmic expression? Because those are my favorite - the woman cleaning while looking like she is in ecstasy.
ReplyDeleteMy old fave was the one where the voice over asks if the men in the family are causing bathroom odors. The clear implication is that they are pissing all over the toilet and floor. Then it shows a manicured female hand with some kind of cleaning device, making it all nice again.
S - The union is affiliated with the hotel and restaurant trades union. Insert your own joke here.
ReplyDeleteSuebob - They never showed the woman's face as she cleaned, just her hand. But if she is orgasmic from wiping fluids, maybe her eagerness to "clean" is what led to the glop of cum on the doormat...
Sheesh, these paper good pushers!
ReplyDeletei saw a similar commercial the other day that made me wonder what century i was living in also. a young very well dressed/coifed woman is smiling looking at her very clean house. then about 20 kids covered in mud run around her house like animals, touching EVERYTHING. She then smiles happily while cleaning up after them with some random thing they are advertising... WTF!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah. I hate that commercial, too. Although not as much as the Bounty commercial because the guy is just standing there watching his mess.
ReplyDeleteI believe I explained this to you on the phone last week and you asked me to post it. I myself was confused by the discussion over how many paper towels it would take to clean up the spilled mess (the drink, not the jizz). There is no need for paper towels for a small spill. There is also no need for bending over as your sock should do just fine. Yes, you can imagine what my kitchen floor looks like. So what? I don't eat off of it. Only the cat does that and he has also been known to play in the toilet.
ReplyDeleteSteph
I look at it like this...
ReplyDeleteShe knows her place. She did what she's there to do. And if that was jizz that she cleaned up, she should have been using her mouth and not wasting a paper towel.
I just saw that add, I was so discusted I googled it! WTF, the boys just watch the spill as it approaches the carpet.....she hsoulda pulled out a wooden spoon and beaten them
ReplyDelete