If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, just use the downstairs bathroom

Welcome back to Casa de Padres de Suzanne! For Part 2 of the tour of this fine piece of real estate, we shall visit the bathroom in the basement.Beginning with what actually belongs in a bathroom, please direct your gaze to the right-hand side of the photo. Isn’t the toilet a lovely shade of peach? I know that the beige lid doesn’t match. Heck, it isn’t even the correct size. (It’s a smidge too large.) After the old one cracked, Sister’s Husband tried to buy a new seat at the flea, but the toilet seat dealer insisted that peach colored seats have not been available for years now. He did the best he could. At least the toilet usually flushes.

I’m not sure what the ginormous red bucket is for, but I suspect it is for when the ceiling leaks. Perhaps my parents would be kind enough to explain its function in the comments section, despite what I believe will be their extreme displeasure with this tour.

Moving the left, up against the wall is a snack table on wheels. I hope it is not down there so that people can enjoy a nice meal while they do their business. On the other hand, I hope it is not brought out of the bathroom to serve food to unsuspecting visitors in other rooms. Ever.

To the front of the snack tray and to the left are two partially broken lawn chairs. Obviously. Everyone stores their lawn furniture in their large second bathroom. I don’t even know why I am pointing it out.

The tool boxes are in front of the lawn chairs. If you are ever in the middle of a shit and need the peen of a hammer to pry it out, you are in luck! If you ever need a hammer while someone is in the bathroom taking a crap, you are literally up shit’s creek. Hopefully, the project can wait. (Perhaps this is why a nail was never driven into the living room wall so that Dennis Franz could be properly framed and hung?)

Another worthwhile object (Husband’s favorite) in the tool bucket is the hedge clipper. Now you know where to go to trim your bushes! (Ha ha ha ha!) Another one of Husband’s interests is the random outdoor lamp that is sitting just behind the enormous broom. And is that another snack table that the tool boxes are pinning to the wall all the way to the left? Why yes, I believe it is. Delicious!

Thanks for joining me on the tour of my parents’ downstairs bathroom. It has many things that a person might need to survive a disaster. Or at least bust out of the room after reclining on lawn chairs and dining off the snack trays. I'm sure that you cannot wait to visit someday!