Thursday, January 4, 2007

Something's Rotten in the State of Denmark

Dear Underwear Manufacturers*:

I know know that you think it is "cheeky" to cut the butts on your product narrowly so that my ass hangs out a bit when I wear underwear. You are wrong. It is, instead, uncomfortable and annoying, and the leading cause of wedgies. I am wearing underwear, including briefs which in theory offer more coverage, for a reason. That reason is that I do not want my ass hanging out. If I wanted my ass hanging out, I would wear a thong or g-string. Or I would wear no underwear at all.

Please put the full ass cut back in your products. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Suzanne Reisman

*Except for Jockey and Hanes Her Way Hipsters. These have very nice asses. However, if you can please use cotton that is not so thin that I can see what I ate for breakfast through them, I would be very appreciative. You used to use thicker cotton. You also recently raised your prices. I am not sure why I should pay more money for lower quality fabric. Unless I am paying for the extra centimeters that provide full ass coverage. Then it is OK. Although I'd pay even more if the undies were not made of some sort of cotton-gassamer blend.

4 comments:

  1. You're just too picky.

    ps - I put a picture of your barrette on jewelry by des.

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  2. You should just switch to bike shorts. They cover everything and look good. In an I am some kind of bike riding maniac kind of way..

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  3. Obviously designed by men 'cos we like it :-)

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  4. huzzah! Can you write a letter now to stop the ever present manufacturing of puce and off-orange panties - When will we finally say "enough"?

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