My Return Smells So Sweet

OK, I have once again returned from a whirlwind weekend of travel, which denied me internet access since Thursday, but also led to some important insights into airplane bathrooms (again). I went to Chicago again this weekend, but this time as a long-planned trip to pre-celebrate my 30th birthday. Since I was presenting at a conference in DC on Friday, I had to fly to Chicago from there. My husband flew to Chicago from New York. Since I was not traveling with my husband, I flew in coach. When I used the bathroom on the plane, it stank.

However, on the return flight to Chicago yesterday, my husband used his stockpile of upgrades and we were able to fly in first class. When I used the bathroom, it had a pleasant scented air, and I discovered a small air freshener attached to the door. This made me realize two things:
1. People flying in first class or business class do not have to contend with smelly bathrooms, so with this issue out of the way, it seems more possible to become a member of the mile high club. Perhaps wealthy people or frequent travelers are also more flexible, which would further increase the odds of a bathroom sexual encounter on a plane, although the bathroom is stationed directly across from the prep area used by flight attendants for meals, so I wonder if (hope?) they would stop two people from entering such a tiny room at the same time, especially given that the bathroom was right behind the cockpit.
2. A small air freshener costs less than $1. Why the fuck can’t the major airlines put one in the coach bathrooms? Fucking cheap bastards. ATA must be the airline with the most common decency.