Theo is sporting my all time favorite kind of underwear - Jockey bikini briefs. They provide excellent front and rear coverage, and the elastic bands at the leg hold them firmly in place. Wedgies are never a problem! (Although I did buy a few pair that were a size too small and the elastic is so tight that they practically cut off the circulation to my legs.) I have these undies in many fine colors: light blue, dark blue, white, gray, beige (ecru if you want to be fancy), and as seen, pink. They are 100% cotton and come in packs of three for $15. (I wait for Macy's or other stores to have a sale and usually get them for $12, which I still think is a little pricey, but they are worth it.)
In this shot, Theo is luxuriating in the designer undies of Calvin Klein. Generally, I do not buy single pairs of undies (I like them protected in a tidy box or bag), and certainly not designer undies, but I was in Chicago for a conference last November and had a minor situation, which led me to purchase them. (No, I did not crap or piss my pants.) I was staying at my parents' house in the 'burbs and commuting downtown to the conference. My fancy gym happens to have a branch across the street from where the conference was held, so I packed a gym bag and planned to workout while I was downtown. As I was heading downtown, I realized that I forgot to pack a pair of clean underwear to change into after I worked out and showered. Fortunately, the Lord & Taylor (or was it Marshall Field's?) at Water Tower place was having a sale and I ran in to buy some (hopefully) clean undies to change into after my workout. These cute CKs were marked down to $2.99 (about 75% off), which is a fair price, so I bought them. I love the fake fly on the front. I thought that they'd be huge, but sadly, my ass is much bigger than I thought, and I should have gotten a bigger size for better ass-and-gut coverage. Still, they are good enough, and Theo definitely looks very nice in them.
Tomorrow, Theo will bring a Victoria's Secret quartet to life.
I feel I must interject as I fear you may be misleading some of your readers on the topic of full-coverage underwear or "drawers" as I prefer to call them. There is nothing sexier than referring to women's panties as drawers:) Back to my point, I think you need to add a disclaimer when you tout the quality of Jockey bikini briefs. I have no problem with the manufacturer, just with you description of full-coverage bikinis in the same posting in which you express your need for ass and gut coverage. Your disclaimer should explain that you have no torso and therefore bikini briefs probably go up on you as high as regularly waisted drawers would go on a normal person. Trust me, there are few things more uncomfotable than feeling your bikini briefs roll down under your giant gut. You may want to point the rest of us with normal-sized or even long torsos to the regular cut briefs. I myself prefer the french cut as they cover the massive gut and have higher-cut legs which prevent me from looking ultra-grannyish or like I'm wearing a pair of Depends without the absorbency. However, I will grant you that higher-cut legs probably do lead to more wedgies.
ReplyDeleteLMAO! OMG...dude...I totally am loving your underwear! I swear I could read about them all the live long day! LOL...
ReplyDeleteOne thing though, I dont get...I know you had to have clean undies for after the gym, but couldnt u have just slipped off the ones you were wearing and go the gym commando?
Suzanne, I am such a hypocrite! I have been silent all of this time that you have been talking about Victoria's Secret, but I must confess: I am addicted to the Body Collection! I know, it's horrible, but they really are the most comfortable (if overpriced) things I've found. What's funny is that I've discovered several other women I know who have secretly switched as well. One is a radical activist who likes to get arrested for civil disobedience and is generally anti-corporate. Her yen for comfort lured her into their trap! Another is an older earth goddess type (you know, crystals, tarot cards, hemp shampoo, the whole works) who found that the Body Collection solved the uncomfortable gut situation for her. Even Carrie from Sleater-Kinney had her VS logo undies showing in a recent promo photo for their new album. I know, I know, I'm trying to rationalize. :-) But I had to come clean if I was going to praise your brilliant critiques, because most of their stuff is just crap, and don't even get me started on how they market the stuff. And yet the thought of having to part with their architecturally brilliant IPEX bras and flattering bikini briefs is terrifying!
ReplyDeleteTwo quick notes:
ReplyDeleteThe Jockey bikini briefs come just below my belly button, which is just the right height.
Also, I a future post will feature four of the styles of Victoria's Secret underwear that I own. And I also have a VS lightly padded bra that I adore. I'm just saying that I look much crappier in their stuff than their models do. Much, much crappier, as do most people (I think) and thus guys (and gals) who jerk off to the catalog should not be disappointed when they see real women wearing them.
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