Thwarted! The Quest for (Ass) Crack (Undies) on the Cheap

As I was entering the gym last night, I noticed a sign in the window of the gym shop that said “Holiday Sale, 30-50% Off.” I assumed that meant that everything was on sale since it did not say select items on sale, so I was excited. This might be a good chance to begin the thong/g-string challenge that I accepted from my friend. I ran 4.05 miles (yay!), then wandered into the shop sweaty and gross. I pointed to the small counter display of Cosabella thongs and g-strings (my friend told me these were a good kind to try, but of course they are outrageously expensive) and asked if they were on sale. I was hoping they’d be 50%, not 30%, off. Unfortunately, it seems that my assumption that everything was on sale was incorrect. “They are not on sale,” the lady informed me. So much for that plan.

However, the need to buy these undies on the cheap (especially since I fully expect to never wear them again once the challenge is over) made me remember my old friend eBay. I can see how buying underwear on eBay might be skeevy, but let’s face it: Victoria’s Secret and other lingerie stores have been caught reselling underwear that was worn and returned. If I get something new with tags (NWT in eBay parlance) and wash it first, it is really no different than buying something in the store.

First I did some research and determined that Cosabella sizes run small (of course they do – they’re designer undies from Italy - I should have known), and that a size small/medium is supposed to fit a woman who wears anything from a size 2-8 and a large should fit ladies wearing sizes 8-14. To be on the safe side – the last thing I need is an ass string digging into my crack – I decided I should get a M/L.

An eBay search for Cosabella yielded some good options at major discounts, all NWT. Being the cheap bastard I am, I found this pair starting at 99 cents (originally $15!)

with shipping of $3.85. I entered my maximum bid of $1.15, figuring that $5 for the experiment would be a reasonable amount. Sadly, I was outbid by someone who was willing to pay a whopping $1.40.

I was forced to bid on this thong instead:
It is hard to see, but they sport a rhinestone initial B on the corner. And they are orange. I wish I could download a picture of the back because it has a special low cut string that I can't really explain, but I wasn't able to. (Supposedly, the style is Talco, but I also couldn't find any other pictures of the back online.) I bid $2.99 and the shipping is $3.95. I think $6.94 is a lot given that a) I never expect to wear them again and b) my initial is not B. They seriously crack me up though, and the fact that I’d have orange undies with the wrong initial and double butt cleavage only makes them more tempting. Bidding ends in 20 hours, so I will keep you posted...