Positive Associations

Meeting the Gynas in person last week was great not only because I got to meet the Gynas in person, but also because I learned something important: Gynas is with a soft “g,” like gyroscope, not a hard “g” like gynecologist as I had thought. While I loved The Gynas as a band name when I mispronounced it, I admit that it is even better when it is like (va)Gynas. (Seriously, I should have known better!) Ha ha ha! Funny, funny stuff….

Anyway, saying gyna over and over again reminds me of my favorite Chicago improve show/musical – Co-ed Prison Sluts. (My mental connection: one of the characters refers to a woman as a vag – soft g.) It is the funniest show ever. Shit, I must have seen it 20 times while I was in high school and college. I only like musicals when they are extremely fucked up, and Co-ed Prison Sluts more than satisfied. Sadly, it is no longer playing for a variety of reasons, but I always have hope that it will gloriously reopen so I can revel in the filth one more time.

The best character was Slick the Child Molester. Yes, I know that is wrong. Probably, in fact, Slick is as hilarious as he is because it is so fucking wrong. (The Aristocrats operates on the same principle – you laugh harder because you are so fucking disgusted at yourself for laughing in the first place.) Slick’s song about molesting children features a section with scat. Scat! I am not kidding. Pure comedic genius.

Other great characters are Dame, the crazy actress who castrated her co-stars in various Shakespeare productions; “Hamster Man,” a guy with hamsters and some mysterious patriotic background; and Skeeter the kid who was supposed to be sent to juvy hall after his mom turned him in as a peeping tom when she found him in the bushes spying on teenagers making out. (Paperwork got screwed up, though, and he wound up in adult prison). Skeeter has a great song about how reading in prison can take your mind off getting “bonered up the ass” as well as other joys. Plus, there is Henry the Serial Killer and his showstopper about killing people (and eating them too). In the end, they band together to kill the Evil Clown.

Fuck, I miss this show.