Mom of the Year

I read this juicy tidbit in Tuesday’s New York Times Arts section:

Dina Lohan… the mother of Lindsay Lohan … came to her daughter’s defense on in an interview scheduled to be broadcast last night in the wake of the younger Ms. Lohan;s possible naughty behavior on the set of “Georgia Rule.” The film’s producer, the Morgan Creek Productions chief executive James G. Robinson, admonished his young star for failing to show up for work last Wednesday. “We are well aware that your ongoing all night heavy partying is the real reason for your so-called ‘exhaustion,’” Mr. Robinson wrote in a letter he sent to the actress and her representatives… Her mother, in an interview with Billy Bush of NBC’s “Access Hollywood,” criticized the letter, saying, “I don’t think it was a smart thing to do to a young girl.”

Really, Ms. Lohan the Elder? What would be a “smart thing to do to a young girl” who is fucked up all the time? I’m curious how you, clearly the mother of the year, would help given that you appear to have done nada thus far. Such as back in April, when you failed to advise young Lindsay to wear underwear to awards shows (particularly ones involving children), and this is what happened:I am so curious, in fact, that I am unable to concentrate on the crossword puzzle that lies on the opposite page, and therefore it is not complete, although it is only Tuesday. Another failure to weigh heavily on your conscious, my good woman.

That said, the whole idea of a mother’s advice reminded me of something I wrote about unshaved snatch way back in October, in my first post ever:

I'm not sure how we so quickly arrived at this hairless situation, but it's arguable that it is the popularity of g-strings, thongs, and other revealing bikini bottoms and underwear that led to the widespread (ha ha) acceptance and even expectation of shaved beavers. Fair enough, but I'd say that if your cooch hairs are hanging out of your bikini bottom, the solution is not to have them torn out of your vag and butt, but to get bigger bottoms. Think of pubic hairs as an organic warning system of sorts. It's Mother Nature preventing you from humiliation by telling you to put on some clothes because you look obscene.

(I love how I just compared the good parenting of “mother nature” helping her "child" not embarrass herself and Lindsay Lohan’s mom. I will never understand how my brain functions.)