Something all Jews can agree on (no, not Israel!)

Recently the Mets acquired a new right fielder and a team Jew, Shawn Green. Once this happened, Husband predicted there would be zillions of articles about Sandy Koufax, Jewish pride, and New York’s Jewish community. He pointed out that while there are no Jewish sports stars, all the sportswriters are basically Jewish (not to mention the agents) and they LOVE writing about the rare Heeb that can make it in professional sports (not counting Quiz Bowels as “sports” despite the usage of the word “bowl”).

Sure enough, today’s New York Times Metro section – yes, the Metro section, not the sports section – has a front page article titled A Power Hitter. A Good Fielder. And a Source of Jewish Pride. While I am only guessing, it seems highly likely that the authors of the article, Andy Newman and Michael S. Schmidt, are – this is just too crazy –also Jewish! This article is hysterically funny in many ways, so I recommend reading it. If you don’t have the time to invest, here are a few highlights:

• The accompanying picture is captioned, “Shawn Green, perhaps the best Jewish ballplayer today, with Carlos Delgado.” (Here’s a fun game: how many other Jewish players today can you name? Husband named three.)


• ”But still the Jewish people hunger for a hometown hero to call their own.”


• “…a fan named Corey Mintz held up a poster with Mr. Green’s photo on it. “The messiah has arrived,” the poster read.”


• ”[Mr. Green] is arguably the best Jewish baseball player since Koufax.” (Ah, the inevitable Koufax comparison!)


• ”Everyone is asking me:.. “How can I get him to come to our temple?”


• “’He’s a team player, and he’s on our team, if you know what I’m saying,” Mr. Moskowitz said.”


• “…a husky Manhattanite with a billowing Jewish afro and a gold Hebrew ‘chai’ necklace outside his Dwight Gooden jersey, called Mr. Green a role model.”


• “Though Mr. Green arrives just in time for Jewish Heritage Day, which was scheduled long in advance, Mr. Horwitz promised that his acquisition was not a marketing stunt… This was a baseball decision.” (No shit! Here I thought they were trying to lure more Jews to watch baseball, since clearly none of us do, although the fact that they have Jewish Heritage Day at all at Shea Stadium is beyond amusing.)


• “I haven’t been this proud of a Jew since my brother’s bar mitzvah.”

Oh man, oh man. Husband and I had no idea that tomorrow is Jewish Heritage Day when we bought tickets for the game. (Don’t worry, despite the exciting theme, our tickets were nit zu teyeh.*) I can’t wait for the mishegoss**. The whole mishpokheh*** will be there! For anyone who doesn’t believe in the power of Jewish sports fans, er zol vaksen vi a tzibeleh, mit dem kop in drerd.****

*not too expensive (a worry of every Jew, right?)
**craziness
***family; clan
****He can grow like an onion with your head in the ground (one of the first Yiddish curses I ever learned)