Take That, Shit-for-Brains!

While we were in college, Husband had the same roommate for three years. Generally, Husband’s Roommate (let’s call him HR for short) and I were friendly, even if he was a racist sexist homophobic pig. I figured that he said offensive shit about non-whites/women/gay folks to just rile me up, and I ignored him. Plus, I saved his ass once in a politics class that we took together. He did not know how to do footnotes properly, and after I helped him clean up his “cross referencing” method, I felt even more morally (and intellectually) superior to him.

One night we were playing a game of Trivial Pursuit in their tiny dorm room kitchen. (The whole place was a kitchen, two cells – I mean, bedrooms, and a bathroom. The bathroom was right next to the kitchen, and it was not very soundproof. This provided me with too much knowledge about people’s toileting habits, but that is another story.) I don’t remember why HR was antagonizing me during the game, but I was getting very pissed at him. Then he asked my team this question: “What Pole discovered that the sun was the center of the solar system?” (I’m paraphrasing that question here.) I stood up, bellowed, “The one up your ass, fuckface!” and stormed as dramatically as I could through the two feet that it took me to get into Husband’s room.

Of course, I couldn’t stand to leave the question unanswered and give HR the satisfaction of thinking that I did not know the answer, so a few seconds later, I stuck my head into the kitchen area and sweetly answered, “Copernicus. But you are still a fuckface.” I think the game ended not long after that. My team won, natch.

(Thanks to Dianne for reminding me of this story.)