Yesterday during the height of the evening rush hour, my undies suddenly felt wet as I stepped onto the subway amidst a crowd of Wall Street suits. “What the fuck?” I thought. “Did I just pee myself? The last thing I need right now is mysterious incontinence.” It didn’t seem like I peed myself, though, as my bladder was not full.
This “suddenly wet” sensation has happened before. The first time I held my friend Elli’s older son (at which point he was her only son), I was sitting on the couch and suddenly the sides of my thighs felt warm and wet toward the back. I pondered whether I peed myself, but it seems that the infant was a very talented urinator, and got his stream arced up over his diaper and into the crack of my legs so that the pee trickled to the back of my thighs but didn’t get the fronts wet, which I would have not believed possible. Talent!
Unfortunately, I was not holding an infant last night, so I either was peed on by a commuting businessman as I entered the subway car (very unpleasant thought) or by myself (even more unpleasant? I’m torn). During the 20 minute ride I tried to focus on finishing the crossword puzzle, but the nasty wet undies bothered me. Only when I exited the subway at my stop and went to run two errands (1. pick up Thanksgiving menu from Italian take-out place that makes amazing stuffing; 2. buy more hard food for Tycho Bunnae) that it dawned on me that my period might cause this.
I rushed home (menus weren’t available yet at the take-out place, incidentally) and sure enough, my white cotton underwear were bloodied up. Damn if that has not happened in eons. I’m seeing to a reproductive endocrinologist on the 22nd, and I’m quite curious what he will think of this.
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That's really funny that you didn't think of menstruation. This coming from one that also hasn't menstruated in years (yay drugs!) but will asumably start again soon. I will share my stories withthe world as well.
ReplyDeleteAnd my vote is that it's worse to be peed on by a commuter than yourself. You don't know where that pee has been.
I agree with Super Des that peeing on yourself is way better than having someone else pee on you (unless its one of those "golden shower:" sex games in which case, would peeing on yourself be a form of masterbation?) but for one who menstrates regularly, i knew immediately what the wet feeling was.
ReplyDeleteinteresting that you are menstruating without the help of drugs... maybe you are fixed and dn't need drugs anymore???
ReplyDeleteAnd here I thought you must have seen your face on a picture in the subway car..
ReplyDeleteWow that's amazing that that never happened to you before. Didja get like a cosmic clue all these years? I wear a mini-pad when I know the day approacheth. To be honest, now that I am peri-menopausal, I'm back to many suprises. Stop, start, sudden panic. So it's a mini-pad every day.
ReplyDeleteOh and believe me, it's better to have someone else pee on you. Incontinence is not a happy thing, but I've been there.
If being a female were not so superior to being a male, it would seem like a bad choice. But I nevvuh, evvuh wanted any male equipment and I'll keep my hairy twot, with all of its quirks, thank you.
I'm with Lucy on this one. I would rather be peed on by someone else (I know it's gross) than have the possiblity of incontinence. One of the few useful things I learned in my childbirth classes is that pee is sterile. That's very interesting that you got your period. I hope you are feeling okay and don't have cramps.
ReplyDeleteI guess this is a "No Blokes Allowed" post.
ReplyDeleteSo I'll go, just be pleased you weren't wearing tight white jeans and a thong!
(I know you wouldn't btw)