Someone arrived at CUSS by googling soft-serve vagina. I had written about Steph's friend in college who sculpted realistic female genitals out of bowls of soft-serve ice cream in the Weinstein dining hall. Tracing the link back, however, brought me to the wild land known as Urban Dictionary.com. You can learn a lot from this website, especially if you can handle extremely offensive things with a good sense of humor. If you are related to me, I highly recommend that you do not follow these links. You will be mad at me.
A repulsive term that is literally not funny at all is "soft jacob". This was the first term that came up in my anonymous searcher's quest for soft-serve vagina. (And I am not exaggerating its foulness. If you are easily grossed out, skip to the next term, which if offensive, misogynist, violent, and hateful, but also funny in the same way Borat is, but a bit more offensively.)
Rebecca, Elle, and I spent a good 30 minutes laughing hysterically out of shock and horror at definitions of the word "donkey punch". Derivations of the term "donky punch" provided extra fits of laughter, as did the hideous definitions of "pink sock".
Anyway, UrbanDictionary.com is a great way to kill time when you are bored, want to find another reason to hate people, and/or are about to participate in a contest to see how can come up with the most outrageous insults hurled at others. Eric Keroack would decidely not approve.
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If you like urban dictionary - try www.viz.co.uk and look at Roger's Profanisaurous!
ReplyDeleteNow that is fookin' hilarious
eg
collie's chest, fanny like a, sim.
Descriptive of the more hirsute ladygarden.
'This is the tale of Bertha Boot Who's bought a brand new bathing suit
When she wears it in the water
You see things you didn't oughta
On the beach at Whitley Bay
Her knockers show up clear as day
But down below the view is best Her fanny's like a collie's chest.'
(from 'Odd Odes' by Cyril Fletcher).
A soft jacob certainly sounds unhealthy and unsanitary.
ReplyDeleteThere are more terms than I can count for punching someone right before ejaculation.
pink sock sounds painful.
I'm so glad I've never bet anyone who wanted any of these things from me. Oh there would be punching, but not the kind they wanted.
Wow. I feel dirty. I browed around and looked at the "Angry Dragon," "Angry Pirate" and the "Alabama Hot Pocket" as well.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is, I doubt any of these things are real. I suspect undersexed 15 year old boys just sit around and invent them, then post them to Urban Dictionary.
lol nuhh most of the words on Urban Dictionary are very real indeed... not just made up by 15 yr old boys, but used by most teens..
ReplyDeleteits a good site =)