I admit that I have written some fairly disgusting things. I can’t help it; my brain just seems to work that way. It must be genetic, and here is the proof. I was talking to my bubbe a few years ago. She asked me what my plans were for the evening and I told her that I was sleeping over at a friend’s house. She became all bent out of shape over it, and told me that I should never sleep over at a friend’s house because there might be discharge on the sheets.
Hello? That is totally demented! How the fuck does that logic come to be? Was she sleeping over at her friend’s house back in Russia when she was a girl? If so, does she not understand that I am friends with people who have at least a modicum of sanitary standards. Yeesh. I mean, I definitely worry when I am staying at a hotel that there might be jizz on the sheets, but that is because I don’t know the people who run the joint. For fuck’s sake, there are my friends. If they give me discharge-y sheets it is probably my fault for being friends with someone who doesn’t wear underwear to bed or do laundry.
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LMAO!!! OMG...discharge sheets...thats hilarious. But hey, your bubbe's got a point. I mean, you never know what's hidden behind your friends doors. Everyones got a skeleton in their closet and that may be theres.
ReplyDeleteI remember this one time, it was my friend Robert's birthday, and we all decided to wake up real early and kidnap him and take him to Dennys for a morning breakfast. When we got in his room, I burst out laughing and then so did everyone else, because on his night stand was a bottle of Vaseline and an old black sock. Robert got all embarassed, and said it was nothing, but come on! I mean, the fact that they were on the same table may have been a pure coincidence, but I couldnt help but laugh, you know?
So anyways, here's to hoping your friends wash their sheets! And that they dont leave their sex toys on the nightstand!
Regarding DT's comment, I'm not that innocent but I really can't understand the connextion between vaseline and a sock.
ReplyDeleteWhat do people do with socks? You either wear them (on your feet) or make puppets out of them; am I missing something?
YES. I DON'T KNOW.