From The Village Voice (“The Mane Attraction” by Rachel Aviv)
…George Michael, the self-described "Tzar of long hair." He was waging a "war on ugliness," lecturing women (the kind who "like lacy underwear") all over the world on how to embrace their femininity. His system for beauty was strict: no bangs, layers, rubber bands, blow drying, or washing more than once a week.
Wow, thanks for the helpful insight on how to be more feminine and less ugly, Mr. Hair Satan. Not usre who appointed you the arbiter of what is attractive, but thank goodness you took the mission seriously. Nothing is more important than a crusade to make all women look and act the same. Variety is an enemy that must be vanquished.
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Yet another Suzanne post that makes me want to gouge my eyes out with my mouse! Gosh, I almost wish you were still writing about stinky crotches or about another one of your "intellectual" topics. After all, you, unlike the dinner whores, use your brain, right? As usual, you had zero comments on your site until I came along. No need to thank me!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sen. Frist, MD!
ReplyDeleteGod almighty, if I didn't wash my hair or blow-dry it for a week I'd have a big tangly dreadlock that wanged out perpendicular to my ears.
ReplyDeleteI can go for that whole not washing my hair more than once a week thing. That's cute how "dumb cunt" (oops, I meant "anonymous") eagerly awaits each new posting so that she can jump in and post a comment before any of us, who ostensibly have things going on in our own lives and can't sit poised at the keyboard waiting to pounce on every new post, get a chance to read it and post something that is actually a commentary on the topic of your original post rather than pointless verbal diarrhea. Also, "anonymous", might I suggest you invest in an extremely pointy and sharp mouse. The rest of us would be better off if you couldn't see to type.
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