If you are lucky enough to be receiving this email, it means I think you can take a healthy dose of Christmastime blasphemy. So, without further ado, I present you with the Blowfish catalogue's (a sex toy/supply catalogue) description of the Jackhammer Jesus:
"Jesus fucking Christ. Literally. This extremely blasphemous dildo features a fairly realistic dickhead at the tip, and a crucifix complete with a figure of our crucified Lord at the base. A very hefty dildo with lots of ridges and bulges, it's perfect for playing debauched priest, naughty nun, or re-enacting The Exorcist. The Blowfishies are all convinced that we're going straight to hell for carrying this toy..."
OK, I also admit that when I first looked at this online, I was highly confused. How the fuck is a cross going to feel good in anyone’s snatch or ass, I wondered. Then I realized that I was looking at the handle. Sometimes I am an idiot.
Blowfish is an equal opportunity offender, so they also sell Buddha, Devil, and Grim Reaper dildos. I wish they had the Lubavitcher Rebbe so I can wander around Brooklyn offending my bearded and bewigged brothers and sisters in religion.
Read this with interest...have a sexual "thing" about blasphemy, as an ex-Catholic, there is a strange appeal. Jesus covered in cum is about the most blasphemous image I can conjure....jesus inserted into a vagina or rectum is equally appealing. I don't hate the man, just all the fuss around him. The image must be of a powerful figure with a great deal of personal meaning to have any sort of appeal, I think. I think you could have great sport, the Lubavitcher Rebbe aside, parading around Brookly wearing this at the end of a necklace...I do believe it would offend the Rabbi's as well. Better yet...get one and try it with someone...I'll volunteer next time I'm in New York (end of July, only sort of kidding). Michael
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